Champions Are Made Through Change

            The 2016 summer Olympic games ended last month with the top medallists taking gold as their  prize.  Great effort and sacrifice precedes a slot to compete.  Olympians and professional athletes do not just show up at an event and expect to do well.  Athletes understand the need for practice, in order to change an unconditioned body into a body fit for Olympic competition. 

            Mental and spiritual transformation requires similar conditioning and change to live a fruitful life.  Jesus told many stories that illustrate the need for conditioning our soul.  At conversion we are given a new personal spirit.  The need for change in our mind and heart continue through our whole life.  The more we welcome and pursue this change, the closer we arrive at championship living.  

            In the book of Matthew chapter 22, Jesus compared our life in the Kingdom of God to a person preparing himself for a banquet feast at a wedding. 

“ … and the wedding hall was filled with guests.  “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes.  He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.  “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’  “For many are invited, but few are chosen.””  (Matthew 22:10-14).  Wow, this seems like a harsh treatment for a seemingly minor offense of not dressing properly.  Although additional interpretations may apply, "dressing" in (changing into) proper clothes seems to indicate the necessity of proper heart attitude toward preparation and conditioning for our life's journey.  Remember, this is a parable (story) Jesus used to make a point.  I believe his primary point is that He is interested in having disciples committed to a process of change of heart and not just showing up for an exciting experience. 

            Pious people also asked of Jesus, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” [the undesirables of the day]  On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:16-17).  Doctors are called on the diagnose health problems of sick people.  Jesus uses this picture to show that he heals the "sickness" of undesirable behavior (and sin).  I believe we can also infer from this that unless we consider ourselves "sick" (unprepared and unconditioned) our hearts are not in a place to receive the completeness of the healing Jesus has for us.   The healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is admit our need for further change and conditioning to live a more abundant life.  This involves examining inner attitudes and motivations (avoiding the extreme of being overly introspective).

            All throughout the teachings of Jesus, he connects the physical (tangible) condition with the psychological and spiritual (less tangible) condition.  Later in the book of Mark, Jesus speaks of this sickness as a problem of the inner person.   "Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him.  Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.'"  ...  He went on: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.'  For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean'"" (Mark 7:14-23).  The point of this list is not as much to try to identify specific behaviors where we may fall short, but to reveal that each person has an "unclean" heart that needs to be re-conditioned by a process to clean it up. 

            Most people think of  preparation, conditioning, and change in terms of behavior.  Examples might be bad eating habits changed to good nutritious eating, negative talk changed to positive speech, or an addiction/ bad habit totally wiped out.  However, behavior is merely an indicator of a belief system.  Bad behavior (fruit) comes from bad thoughts and beliefs (root).  If you really believe using illegal drugs are wrong and bad for your health, you won't use any,  If's that simple.  Changing behavior requires a change of beliefs.  Trying to justify smoking weed in certain situations, demonstrates double minded-ness, and threatens any positive steps you've made toward re-conditioning your thoughts ad beliefs.  For another example, if you use pornography, you really don't believe in the dignity of women (or men), nor the value of purity, fidelity, and loyalty.  A change of heart is needed to re-align behavior with a healthily growing value system.    (Note: I am generalizing here, and please understand that trauma and serious mental haalth conditions may create exceptions).  

            Behaviors reveal beliefs, and beliefs reveal who you are on the inside.  Who you are on the inside is the real you.  The only way to change and condition yourself, is to change your thoughts and core beliefs.  If you claim to be a disciple of Christ, you will "dress" for the banquet with him, let him treat/ heal your "sickness," and surrender your "unclean" core being to him for him to change.  This is the miracle of salvation.  This is the progressive work of salvation.   This is essential in receiving the full impact of what Jesus did for us through his death and resurrection from the dead.    

            Change and heart conditioning is what we are called to as Christians.  It won't work to show up in heaven one day unprepared.  When Jesus taught us to pray that Father's will would be done "on earth as it is in heaven,"  could it be that he had the conditioning of our hearts in mind?   Honestly ask yourself a few more questions to help you live a championship life.  Am I  "dressed" as a champion?  Am I "dressing" (readying myself for the banquet) so my inner being is prepared for greater things?  Where could my heart be more given to "cleaning" and surrendering to the progressive work of change and conditioning?  Do I have a habit or pattern of behavior that needs to go?  Might there be something destructive in my life that I have been excusing as a "part of my personality?"  What thoughts and beliefs may be keeping me from further surrender?  Do I need to ask God into my heart to show me the need for surrender?

            God  designed you to be a champion.  Let the change begin, and continue, until your gold medal is presented in heaven!  And, let the heavenly results begin now while you live out champion lifestyle here on earth!

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry 

             

Note:   A book I authored Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses truth for dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom through forgiveness (from a Christian perspective).  See more about the book by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_

Same-Sex Distraction

            The U.S. President visited Kenya last week with a message of homosexual rights as part of his agenda.  They warned him before his arrival not to bring up the subject,, but he did not respect their wishes.  Kenyans have it right to believe homosexuality distracts from personal health and healthy social relationships. 

            The recent U.S. Supreme Court decision attempting to redefine marriage is folly gone over the edge.   I believe this kind of a decision is more a rejection of God than it is about so-called same-sex attracted couples.  When a person loses his attraction to his Creator, he inevitably becomes more attracted to lust than to love.  True love does not seek self-fulfillment, but the fulfillment and best outcome for another.  Since God IS love, and Love defines marriage, there is no place for lust in marriage. 

            Attraction is based more on desire than on love.  Therefore, attraction is very vulnerable to lust (illegitimate desire) which is the opposite of love.  Physical attraction is not a bad thing, but when it is confused with love, it becomes highly distractive to true love (both heterosexual and homosexual).  God created mankind with desires.  He also created man with the ability to choose between God's way of fulfilling those desires and man's own ways of fulfilling the desires.  So-called same-sex attraction is a choice--a choice to lust not to love.  Opposite sex attraction consummated in sex outside of marriage is a choice--a choice to lust not to love. 

            Not only did God create marriage for the expression of true love, but the gift of expressing true sexuality which results in pro-creating the race.  Confusing gender roles distracts from God's purpose for human sexuality.  Two men together or  two women together cannot create a baby.   So, while lust detracts and distracts from love, same-gender sexuality detracts and distracts from true sexuality. 

            I understand some reading this will consider some of my statements as insensitive and perhaps unloving.  My intent is to be direct, but very sensitive and very loving.  Sometimes the truth is hard to accept for whatever reason.  God's love transcends man's willingness and ability to receive it.  But when man's perception of love becomes more like God's perception, a change of heart can transform thinking and behaving patterns to become more genuinely sensitive and loving.  I am writing this because I care for the many who get caught in the trap of thinking same-sex attraction is merely a biological issue leaving them powerless to choose otherwise.  Frankly, that is a lie! 

            As a certified counselor, and as a person who can attest to the possibilities of behavioral pattern changes, I can confidently assure you that change is possible when you remain open minded, and especially with the help of God directing the process.  A very tiny minority of same-sex attracted persons may have a medical problem at its source, but for the vast majority, an underlying self-image problem is at the root.   Again, same-sex issues present a distraction from reckoning with the root causes of a person's low self-concept.  If that idea is new to you, you can read some of my other blog posts to see how inner person health begins with inner self evaluation and change.

            I would encourage you not to be distracted from the real issue.  Don't be distracted from God's love.  Evangelist Billy Graham warns in his preaching and writings  that our eternal soul is at stake.  Heaven and hell are real places.  Not only is thumbing your nose at God unhealthy, but it is irreversibly deadly and eternally tormenting.  God is our Refuge.  There is safety in God's love.  Only foolishness would allow something like sexual lust to win your heart over  (away from God's love).  The only safe sex is chaste sex.   Whether homosexual OR heterosexual, sexual relations outside the covenant of God-defined marriage are defiant actions against His design for mankind.  True meaning and purpose in life is found by surrendering your heart to God's love. 

            If you feel like a mess-up, no problem.  It's never too late to turn around.  Simply believe in Jesus and trust His way, not your own.  Allow yourself to be vulnerable to the God who loves unconditionally and without fail.  This kind of love is powerful enough to feel like heaven on earth, and worth far more than all the distractions this world can offer. 

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . 


by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Taking Out the Trash

            One of the services of local municipal government in America is trash disposal.  What happens when you neglect to put out on the curb your property's trash container for the weekly pick-up?  It becomes all the more smelly during the next week!  Dealing with the trash may not be a favorite chore, but it must be done;  distributing containers in appropriate spots throughout the house, trash can liners inserted, emptied at least once a week into the curb-side pick-up containers (also lined so hopefully it doesn't need scrubbed every week because of the smell), maybe more or less steps (depending on your standards of cleanliness), and finally, taking the household container to the curb.

            As much as we may dislike the trash removal chores, the alternatives are certainly worse.  Neglecting to remove spoiled food from the refrigerator or soiled diapers from the baby’s room, will create smelly consequences.  And the germs ....  Unclean environments create unhealthy conditions which make unhealthy, sick people.  Proper handling of trash is an essential part of maintaining a healthy household and living a healthy life.  It is a faithful physical reminder of an emotional and spiritual process in our lives.

            Our physical being can be thought of as a "house" we live in while we exist on earth.  Our mental and emotional well-being determines in great measure the condition of our "house" (individual person) and our "neighborhood" (family, friends, etc.). When talking about mental and emotional health, “taking out the trash” may have a slightly different meaning for different people.  Prolonged mental or emotional pain usually means there is some sort of "trash" to be removed.  The trash in this case is likened to some sort of inner woundedness.  We live in a broken world with broken people acting out their brokenness towards their environment (including other people), thus creating more wounding and brokenness.  This cycle affects every person without exception.  Since the beginning of sin's entry into the world, mistreatment, injustice, and even abuse are to be expected.  The hurt we feel as a result does not mean we are weak, just human.  Trying to be "tough," by ignoring or minimizing the effects of mental and emotional pain can create far more significant long term damage than paying attention to it right away.  Pain is not the problem.  Pain is only a messenger.  Heeding pain's message by acknowledging and working it through will help prevent trash buildup in your inner person.  Does this sound like a smelly or frightening chore?  Do not despair.  We have hope in a "trash hauler" even for this kind of trash. 

            The difficult part of this scenario is that until the pain becomes unbearable, mankind is wired to resist inner person trash removal "chores."  Human nature prefers familiarity even when the familiar becomes unhealthy.  Brokenness is accepted and even sometimes celebrated before the ugliness of its unhealthy qualities are discovered. This phenomenon, at least in part,  explains why a person abused as a child will often select abusive people to hang out with as an adult. 

            One of the most prominent examples of someone not taking out the trash in his heart, is  the ancient King David.  What began as unintended (and unchecked) thoughts and feelings ended up with intentional deception, adultery and murder.  David wasn't tuned into the trash until a prophet named Nathan shared a story with him that revealed the truth.  One "misjudgment" upon another was, in reality, one sin upon another (ie. idleness, complacency, visual stimulation, conversation, flirting, lust (confused as love), sweet-talking a woman not his wife (victimizing), affair (adultery), hiding affair, inappropriate suggestions (trickery & manipulation), half truths (lying and cover-up), commanding army (misuse of power, killing, & murder).  See the book of 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12 in the Bible to read the details.  David and the entire nation of Israel had to suffer grave consequences because of his actions.  What began as "bad judgment" ended in a hard crash.  In my next blog post I plan to talk more about how trash held in a person's heart can lead to this kind of crash.

            For now, let me say that holding anger, bitterness, resentment, envy, jealousy, shame, self-bitterness, worry and other negative feelings create destructive forms of trash that defile our personhood (Hebrews 3:12; 12:15).   Jesus taught that our sinful thoughts and attitudes are as serious as our actions (Matthew 5:21-22).  Sometimes we even try to justify actions as "gray areas," to make excuse for what we know is wrong. 

            If you experience lingering unrest in your soul, conflict in a relationship, mood swings, worry, doubts about who you are or your purpose for being, or other negative feelings that leave you confused or doubtful about the future, let me encourage you to make a commitment to finding the source and getting rid of the trash.  Here are some questions to ask yourself to help with this task.

• Is there a person(s) in your life you try to avoid having contact with? 
• Is there someone you are focused on to meet a need in your life, but they do not seem to share the same commitment or provide assistance? 
• Do you have a habit you are afraid to admit might be an addiction? 
• Are you not eating or losing sleep because of an obsession to success on a work project? 
• Are you dabbling in something that you are afraid will ruin your reputation if the wrong person finds out about it? 
• Is there a particular place, specific event, or regular activity, that triggers negative feelings (especially with unknown reason)?
• Do you occasionally stretch the truth (tell a lie) for "convenience" sake? 
• Are different people trying to tell you the same thing about a part of your character that you really don't want to hear? 
• Do other people think you are less open minded as you believe you are? 
• Are you addicted to porn or some substance but don't know what to do about it? 
• Do you think about killing yourself or someone else in order to solve a problem?   

              The more questions to which you answer "yes," the more likely your standards of "heart cleanliness" may be deficient.  It also means you may be at greater  risk for doing something dangerous or tragic.  If the task of removing the trash seems too overwhelming, seek help from a trusted friend and competent counselor.  If you are planning right now to harm someone, go Immediately to an ER (emergency room).  DO NOT HESITATE! 

            If you are a confessing Christian (trusting Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord), you are not automatically exempt from the task of taking out the trash.  In all reverence and respect for what Christ accomplished through his death and resurrection, let us recognize that Jesus came to be our trash hauler.  He saves us from our sins, and heals the  pain of the consequences of the sins (Isaiah 53:4).  Our trash is hauled away through repentance.  We put our trash in a container and turn it over to him.   Confession and repentance is obviously recognized as a means to receive forgiveness of a grievous sin like murder, but we also need to repent even if we have simply harbored wrong attitudes and thoughts and committed less heinous actions. 

            Jesus is the way into Father's presence where there is no trash to be encountered.  You are now on a journey to receive more and more of God's presence with Father as the destination.  Your conversion experience did not remove all the trash at one time.  It began the process of taking out the trash that keeps you from having a more intimate fellowship with Father God (even now before your final destination is reached). 

            If you need help from a counselor, it does not make you less of a Christian.  If you are a leader, you are at even greater risk.  Do not allow pride to minimize the dangers.  A crash similar to King David's would not only hurt your own life, but many others as well. 

            God wants the trash gone even more than you do.  God wants to know you as he made you in his original design before trash (sin) entered the world.  Oh to know God, and be known by Him.  That should be our greatest motivator of all for taking out the trash!    

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging at  http://bluerockbnb.com 

Pass the Spinach

             So, forgiveness is a little bit like eating your spinach.  Most people know it's extremely healthy, but very few actually do it.  What is it about the fundamental truth of forgiveness that eludes even the most seasoned leaders of businesses, organizations, and churches? 

            I believe one of the most significant ways to improve your life is to grow in your understanding and practice of forgiveness.  

            Okay, so we live in a broken world.  Life has its disappointments.  We need to deal with them, and just "let it go and move on," right?  Well ...  Too often this is an excuse for sweeping things under the rug.  If you don't take time to identify your failed expectations and  "own" your critical judgments, there's nothing to let go of, and nothing to move on TO. 

            All of us have things happen that create offense and pain.  Maybe you went out of your way to help someone, only to have them turn on you.  Maybe you get dropped unexpectedly in a job or relationship.  Someone at work, church, or home makes you feel abandoned, rejected, incompetent, afraid, or mistreated in some way. 

So how do we keep from letting these sorts of things snag us in the trap of bitterness and resentment?  We know forgiveness is the answer, but why do we keep trying so many other options before we give forgiveness a chance to work?

            Well, let's just be honest.  Lack of forgiveness is about CONTROL.  Every person alive is a so-called "control freak."  Going back to the first man and woman on earth, Adam and Eve, the demand to decide for ourselves, right from wrong, is built in to our DNA.   When someone does something we don't like, we claim the right to decide whether it's right or wrong.  So, when things don't go our way, we feel anger, fear, or shame  because we feel loss of control.  This happens so automatically, we often don't realize it.

            You see, God's original design for mankind, did NOT include this need to know.  It was OUR choice, and now each person faces a dilemma.  We can't blame God, our parents, or the one who offended us for the way we feel.  WE must own the disappointment, dissatisfactions, discomforts, and failed expectations.

With anger, for example, feeling frustrated, annoyed, upset, vengeful etc. are very normal.  However, these are surface feelings.  Anger is merely a symptom.  It's not the root issue.  Feeling upset or frustrated means there is something hidden under the rug. 

            The way I define forgiveness is this: "surrendering to God the right to judge."   Yes, surrendering control to God takes the burden of judgment off me, and puts it back where it belongs.  In the original design of mankind, as explained in Genesis, the Creator was the sole judge of good and evil.  God intended men and women to eat from "the tree of life," and not from "the tree of the knowledge of good and evil."   Through every generation since the original sin, our rebellion against Creator's design keeps us from knowing our loving Father as  He wants to be known.  He wants us to know Him as his sons (or daughters) who look to him for their identity, protection and provision.  Eating from the wrong "tree"  messes up this relationship, but we CAN choose to eat from the "tree of life."

            Surrendering our heart to God is a lot like eating our spinach.  We know it's the right, life-giving thing to do, but we usually find something else to eat instead.  We come up with some way to cope that doesn't involve facing our pain.  This may be something as benign as over eating, or it may be forming an addictive habit using alcohol, drugs, pornography, or working too much.  In my opinion, all destructive behaviors are rooted, at least in some degree, to an issue of unforgiveness. 

            In order to change undesirable behaviors, the most lasting results will come as a result of experiencing true forgiveness.  It's more than willpower and making decisions.  It's about surrendering decisions to God.  It's about yielding your heart  for HIM to change.  Forgiveness was first God's idea.  Christians believe Jesus accomplished forgiveness.  It's not about OUR work, but surrendering to the work that's already been done through Christ's death and resurrection.  Christ is our pain bearer.  Christ died to forgive us our sins, and he also heals our pain if we let him access it.  The prophet Isaiah (chapter 53) describes Messiah as the one who carries our pain.   In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus says of himself, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-29).

            For Christ to carry your pain, you must be willing to surrender it.  It's okay to admit unmet expectations.  It's okay to feel loss.  It's okay to grieve.  It's okay to let God make you a better person through forgiveness.  Practice the 3 R's.  R-remember what Christ has done for you.  R-repent for not surrendering to him.  R-release the offense to him for his judgment. 

            I'd like to leave you with a few questions to ponder:

Will you be among the few who REALLY surrender to God the right to judge?

What keeps you from surrendering?

Where might you be holding anger, fear, or shame you're not aware of?

How do you try to get rid of it?

Is your God big enough to take care of it?

Is there some other "burden" that you would be willing to let Jesus carry for you?

            Ask God today to help you.  His help is available for the asking.  If that feels like too big a step right now, reach out to a trusted Christian friend, or give us a call for help. 

            I've spent years researching this topic, and each day that goes by I learn more about forgiving offenses, both as an offender and an offended person.  I share many more themes about forgiving and healing at this blog site.  By the way, I wrote a book called Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart.  I include a study guide to help you process the information.  I also include resources like sample prayers.   I try to make myself available if you want me to come and speak to your group.  Whether you read my book, or someone else's, learn all you can about forgiveness and practice it more than you eat spinach!

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Forgiving to Health

             Is a person's physical and mental health linked to emotional health?   Is it possible that your frequent head aches, joint pain, trouble sleeping or eating, depression, anxiety, or similar symptoms have an unhealthy emotional root connected somewhere to the cause?  The likelyhood is very real, and even more chronic conditions like cancer are often linked to unforgiveness.

            Anger, when turned to bitterness, hatred, resentment or rage, is very destructive to the human body.  Holding grudges, rehearsing retaliatory speeches in your mind, and ruminating (dwelling on negative consequences of hurt and mistreatment) create harmful stress that the human body is not designed to tolerate.  Research has shown the link between harboring negative feelings and a breakdown of mind and body.  This topic is addressed in a recent book called The Forgiveness Project by Michael Barry and is subtitled, the Startling Discovery of How to Overcome Cancer, Find Health, and Achieve Peace.  Here is the back cover description:  "Internalizing anger is destructive to our spiritual health and can destroy families, marriages, and even churches. But what about our physical health? Is there a relationship between a spirit of unforgiveness and disease? Between forgiveness and healing?  After extensive medical, theological, and sociological research at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA), author and pastor Michael Barry made a startling discovery: the immune system and forgiveness are very much connected. Through the inspiring stories of five cancer patients, Barry helps you identify-and overcome-the barriers that prevent healing and peace. See how a breast cancer patient named Jayne experienced spiritual and physical renewal when she learned to forgive. Meet Rich whose surprise cancer diagnosis led him to forgive his cousin. Be inspired by Sharon's story of spontaneous remission. With each true account comes proven strategies, tested and used by CTCA, that you can implement to find peace with your past, relief from hatefulness, and hope for healing."

            Unforgiveness does not create disease, but it certainly fuels the condition(s) for disease to take hold.  In his book Barry reports Robert Ader, at the University of Rochester Medical Center as saying, "psychological experiences, such as stress and anxiety, can influence immune function, which in turn may have an effect on disease course..  Certain data indicate that factors such as suppressing emotions of anger and hatred (which are the ingredients of unforgiveness) negatively influence a person's susceptibility to disease."   

            Dr. Everett Worthington,, forerunning researcher and author of numerous books on forgiveness, writes, "Chronic unforgiveness causes stress. Every time people think of their transgressor, their body responds. Decreasing your unforgiveness cuts down on your health risk. Now, if you can forgive, that can actually strengthen your immune system."

            So maybe you haven't been diagnosed with cancer.  What about the everyday aches and pains for which many Americans customarily turn to pills for treatment? 

Many visits to medical doctors could be averted if people paid more attentions to their emotional health.   Herb Benson, MD, proves the point when he says, "Sixty to 90 percent of visits to physicians are for conditions related to stress. Harmful effects of stress include anxiety, mild and moderate depression, anger and hostility, hypertension, pain, insomnia, and many other stress-related diseases."

            Because it is widely misunderstood, forgiveness is often overlooked as a major source of stress relief.  In chapter two of my book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart, I discuss the evidence of people's misunderstanding of forgiveness.  Many people incorrectly assume their decision to forgive has cleared them of the negative effects of the baggage that goes with unforgiveness. 

            Forgiveness does not come from simply saying, "I forgive ... ." It requires a heartfelt change through which the anger and hatred are transformed into feelings of peaceful neutrality and on to genuine love and concern for the offender.  My book mentioned above explains this process from a Christian perspective.  Forgiveness is surrendering to God the ultimate right to judge.  Forgiveness cannot be reduced to methodology solely achieved by following pre-determined step-by-step instructions. It is much more complex and gradually accomplished by practicing new insights and revelation.

            Eva Mozes Kor and her twin sister, Miriam, survived the Holocaust and the Auschwitz concentration camp, Eva was asked,  "What is the thing that is most misunderstood about forgiveness?'  She replied, "Forgiveness has the reputation that the perpetrator has to be sorry. The biggest misconception is that forgiveness is for the perpetrator.  It's strictly a gift of freedom I give myself. It's free! You don't need an HMO. There are no side effects, and it works. It's like a miracle drug.  Instead of changing the world—that's too big of a job—we have to repair it one place at a time...." 

            For those who may get past the first hurdle of misunderstanding, the second hurdle, misdiagnosing the condition of heart, often trips them up.  For most people, hatred is a well-disguised deceptive tumor.  At least in some degree, hatred is alive in every breathing human being.  Although most do not consider themselves "hateful people," hateful elements exist in every human heart.  These elements grow and create cancer-like emotional conditions that often go undetected.  Just as every individual is unique in how they develop and treat bodily cancer, each is unique in how emotional cancer is developed and treated.  Anger will turn to the cancer of hatred if not properly treated.  Hatred is anger saturated with bitterness.  Unrecognized and unacknowledged hatred (confusing or excusing it as mere anger) is a common ailment of the human heart.  Hurt combined with hatred does not heal on its own.  Hurt turned to hatred requires intentional healing balm.  The process of forgiveness is the most effective treatment. 

            One of the most satisfying fruits of forgiveness is better physical and mental health.  Is it worth finding out more about forgiveness and making the necessary changes to practice forgiveness?  Absolutely! Good health has no price tag.  The ancient Proverb says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (proverbs 4:23).  Healthy individuals build healthy families, and healthy families can build a healthy society.  Understanding and practicing forgiveness goes a long way to facilitate health. 

            Forgiveness is not a cure nor the complete answer to all life's problems.  It is a door to access the treasures of healing.  For a Christian, that Door is Jesus Christ who accomplishes forgiveness and provides access to the very heart of Father God.  A person's faith surrenders his heart to Almighty power through sonship (including daughtership) for the eternal healing of the soul.

            I hope you are blessed with the healing power of forgiveness today.

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging at  http://bluerockbnb.com 

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry