Cognitive Distortion

    There are a number of deficiencies, discrepancies, disconnections, and discombobulations in our thinking processes that field of psychology refers to as cognitive distortions. A cognitive distortion is a thought that is not based in reality. Thoughts not based in reality create false assumptions, mis=perceptions, and inaccurate beliefs.  False beliefs and lie-based thinking can take many forms.

 

    Our thoughts are powerful things. What we choose to allow ourselves to think about determines our feelings and behaviors that influence future outcomes. Have you ever been fooled by an optical illusion? Sometimes what we “see” isn’t the reality, but only a superficial representation. In a similar way that optical illusions misshape our visual perceptions, we can develop mind illusions that can mis-shape our mental perceptions. We can sometimes develop subconscious patterns of thinking that do not match up with reality. Our brain can fool us into thinking something that is not actually true. When untrue or twisted thoughts are repeated, they form inaccurate, unhealthy, or even dangerous patterns  

 

Examples:

· All-or-nothing thinking – Everything is thought of in terms of black or white extremes. It omits balanced perspectives. Thinking goes like, “I won’t go to the doctor for help to treat my sickness, because all doctors are bad.”

· Over-generalizing  - One negative experience or interaction is overlaid onto the entire relationship or situation. Thinking is, “John/ Jane doesn’t love me,” when their spouse does something by accident that irritates them  Or, it could involve jumping to conclusions by thinking about quitting a job after a boss corrects a small detail for improvement.

· Minimizing or magnifying – Making too light of good things and dwelling on bad things to much. This could be thinking of yourself as unworthy of a compliment someone gives you (after a job well done), or falling apart emotionally when someone says something bad about you.

· Mind reading – This is assuming something negative about a person or situation without a confirmation of truth. This might look like assuming a friend is ignoring you at a party, without finding out why they are preoccupied for a legitimate reason.

· Disaster predicting – Fortune telling of events toward the negative. This is about thinking in worst case scenarios like concern for losing a job following an excellent review. Or it could be worrying about losing a close friend over a small disagreement.

· Catastrophizing – This is the proverbial “making a mountain out of a mole hill.” A small mistake becomes an insurmountable problem.

· Emotional reasoning - This amounts to feeling being allowed to rule, feelings leading over facts, or grossly confusing feelings for thoughts. This may explain how  a person abandons a relationship with a friend or family member because they didn’t “feel heard,” or “feel understood.” It may also explain abandonment of a successful job or business venture simply because it didn’t “feel right.”

· Consuming regrets – Dominated by would’a, could’a, should’a scenarios.  Focused on stories in the past for which nothing can profit the future. This is staying stuck on past event (perhaps an accident that could have seemingly been avoided) which steals vision and hope for the future.

· Victim – Thoughts creating a victim mindset. This can develop into oversensitivity in feelings of impoverishment, underprivilege, or being part of an oppressed class of people. Common losses in life are turned into one of two extremes; inward to perpetual self-pity, or outward toward aggression (eg. when an abused person becomes an abuser).

· Labeling – Stereotyping is common expression of this distortion. This is unnecessarily categorizing another person (or yourself) by singling out an unwelcomed characteristic. You then overlay your assumptions and perceptions onto interactions with other people (or yourself) to “confirm” negative traits like unintelligent, awkward, disrespectful, or unloving.

· Personalizing – This is taking things personal without an objective reason. This is when you take on too much responsibility for another person’s negative reaction(s).

· Projecting – This is transferring thoughts from memories of negative experiences in the past. It may present in things like difficulties relating to a person of the opposite sex because of repeated ill-treatment by people of that sex in earlier years.

· Over-spiritualizing – This is when God is used as a rationalization for something inconsistent with the Bible or common sense of morality. It may look like “God told me __x__” being used to justify something others may find disagreeable. Yes God speaks, but people’s mental processing sometimes distorts God’s speech.

· Trauma-related – Irrational thinking may sometimes accompany the initial impact of a traumatic event. The initial distortion is normal, as it reflects the brain’s function in trying to suddenly deal with “abnormal” circumstances. But much later, getting stuck in the grieving process of the loss in tragedy, it may become a problem. This could be unintentional unawareness of a state of denial for example, or an intentional remaining stuck as part of a victim role.

· Defying logic – This is a sort of “catch all” for twisted thoughts not fitting in categories above. It may also be irrational thinking for the sake of being wreckless or contrarian can become dangerous. This may include vindictive thoughts or thoughts meant to harm themselves or someone else.

 

Thinking patterns create outcomes of behavior and habits for an individual’s interacting with other people. Distorted thinking may shape a person’s expectations for other people to think and see their world, to match their own distortions. Instead of healthy differentiation, they seek to control. They think everyone should think with the same distortions, and agree with them in the same distorted conclusions they have drawn. They impose a distortion(s) on others’ minds. For example, this happens when a third party is involved, and a person distorts (misinterprets) the failure of  Friend A’s failure to say hello as disrespectful when they entered a room, and then gets mad at Friend B who doesn’t agree that disrespect was shown by Friend A’s actions (irregardless of the fact that Friend A had an emergency situation to deal with).

Another example of how a person can impose distorted thinking on another, is with mind reading. This can occur when a person takes offense at a relatively small unintentional action from a friend or family member, and then expects the “offender” should have known that would have hurt them. Refusing to reconcile (try to make things right) without the perceived offense being recognized and confessed to, without the distorter thinker telling them what caused the offense, is an irrational expectation.  Most conflict in relationships is caused by one or both parties’ distorted thinking.  

     Cognitive distortion is a huge topic, and more than can be discussed here.  I recently encountered two books each devoting a chapter to the topic, for reading more about cognitive distortions.  One Is Frank Viola’s Hang On, Let Go: What to Do When Your Dreams Are Shattered and Life Is Falling Apart, and the other is Debra Fileta’s Are You Really OK?.

A common thread running through these distortions is overthinking. Getting too much into the mind, and not acknowledging the heart, leads to cognitive constipation. Knowing the “why,” and knowing the right things is not enough. However,  “distorted knowing” (believing the wrong things) can be even more destructive. This condition can contribute to a wall (barrier) that keeps the heart from being able to receive truth.  Cognitive distortions are usually the raw material for bitterness and condemning judgments. They happen frequently. and sometimes so automatically, we rarely notice until we intentionally trace the “fruit” (behavior) to the “root” (thinking and feeling). The way to combat these distortions of healthy thinking is to focus on truth. Getting to the root of things and focusing on truth are topics I address in other articles.

    May we be honest enough with ourselves to, first, admit that our own thinking is not always free of distortions. Secondly, may we yield to an inner transformation process that intentionally thinks and acts based on truth and not falsehood. “Surely You desire integrity in the inner self, and You teach me wisdom deep within” (Psalm 51:6). The Psalmist recognizes this as wise, and part of our Creator’s desire.

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Victim To Victory

 

          How much have you been touched by “cancel culture”(CC)? For those unfamiliar with the term, CC means “cancelling” (everything from ignoring to tearing up by the roots and killing) any person, place, or thing that disappoints, offends, or is simply in disagreement with your beliefs and ways of thinking. CC has become such a common mindset that many do not even realize how much their behavior has slid down the slippery slope of “cancellation” as a way of dealing with their problems.

            We have seen CC at work recently in efforts trying to erase the history of our nation’s heritage. Leadership imperfections may exist, but tearing down statues and changing the names of places, cannot change the past. Nor can it heal any woundedness caused by past events. Trying to “cancel” only makes problems worse. Why?  Because it doesn’t change the human heart.         

            A recent post on Facebook captures a critical observation. Pastor R. Loren Sandford of New Song Church and Ministries in Colorado writes, “I've concluded that some people have a sick NEED to hate. It might be hate for a Christian leader. It might be directed at a political figure. It might be directed at the opposite sex. It can be racial. It can be religious. In any case the need will be there and it will manifest in damage done to relationships of all kinds.

Why Is it there? Because It promises power and significance while turning the hater ultimately into a victim. For at least a generation now we've been conditioned as a culture to think of ourselves as victims instead of sinners who are saved and victorious in Jesus. Victims of sexism. Victims of race. Victims of abuse. Victims of injustice. Victims of circumstance. Victims of politics. Victims of the big corporations. Victims of unfair treatment. On and on it goes.

And now hatred consumes the land. I think we need to remember that we are called to be conformed to the image of the Son of God. He was not the victim of the cross. He accomplished the cross. And then rose again.” 

I like this quote because prophetic pastor Sandford doesn’t just state a problem, but also states the solution. The solution is the heart transforming power of Jesus. Honoring God by surrendering more and more of our hearts to him on a continuing basis, is literally our only salvation (see Philippians 2:12). Changing from the inside out is our hope for victory over victim status (see Mark 7:17-23). This solution requires a radical, daily commitment. Sometimes moment-to-moment intentionality is necessary, especially when we seem surrounded by “haters.” Hate, though it tries to blame (and thus shame) others, ironically brings shame back on the one who hates. Hate becomes a vicious cycle of creating victims of hate.

Shame and condemnation are at the root of victimhood. Backtracking from hatred, the path goes something like this. The roots of hatred lie in bitterness, and the roots of bitterness lie in condemning judgments. Condemning judgments form after complaining, blaming, or justifying. We rely on our own faulty beliefs, make false assumptions, draw inaccurate conclusions, feed more faulty beliefs, form harmful opinions, create condemning judgments which all contribute to making bad decisions leading to bad behavior. An example may go like this. A female with skin color X may have grown up without a positive male influence in her life. Her beliefs were formed by her mom being taken advantage of and her own bad experiences with males of skin color Y. Her assumptions are that ALL men and persons of skin color Y are bad people. A female supervisor’s decision at work did not go in her favor. She assumes her work is not appreciated, and concludes it is because of her skin color X, She decides to quit. A male supervisor in a different department (who she doesn’t like just because he’s a male) offers her a good job. She turns it down mostly because she was still upset (bitter) at losing her original position. She lost her place to live because of unemployment and she blamed all these troubles on being victim of the company’s unfairness. Cancelling incidents like this happen over and over again in marriages, family relationships, churches, and organizations to the detriment of everyone involved.

Our hearts are prone to bitter, condemning judgments that create destruction. Bitterness is like a weed in a garden that will continue to spread unless it is rooted out.  Bitterness automatically finds a way to blame others as “bad,” and justify self as “good.” Seeing faults in others and not seeing them in ourselves, is an innate tendency of our sin nature, and can only be rolled back through the saving power of Jesus.

 Another enemy of a productive garden is insects. Psychiatrist Daniel Amen describes our Automatic Negative Thoughts as ANTS. Amen’s articles and books describe how this acronym came to him after finding an ant infested kitchen in his home. The infestation was like the images of brains of his anxiety and depression ridden patients who had one negative thought after another stealing their happiness and contentment in life. Getting rid of ANTS means we must be actively resistant to complaining, blaming, justifying, making false assumptions, drawing inaccurate conclusions, forming harmful opinions, and allowing bitter, condemning judgments to take root in our hearts. They turn us into victims whenever they get a chance.  

The best “pest control” treatment for these ANTS is gratitude. As a follower of Jesus, the thing I am most grateful for is his ability to change the things I am powerless to change. I can’t change other people, but I can allow God to change my heart. When people do me wrong, it does me no good to hold bitterness against them. God never “cancels” a person, and therefore does not allow me to cancel a person either. But God does want me to “cancel” (root out) bitterness and victimhood from my own heart (see Hebrews 12:4-15). I have the choice not to be a victim by receiving God’s power of forgiveness and granting forgiveness to my offender. See an earlier article for more on this: authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2011/10/overcoming-cycle-of-offense.html .

Is there someone you are avoiding because of a disagreement or ill-treatment of some sort? Is there a group, employer, church, organization, political party, or some other affiliation that instantly triggers your thoughts in a negative direction (produces ANTS)? If so, you may be sloshing in more bitterness and victim than you realize. Ask God for forgiveness and consider  what action you need to take to gain victory.

For people reading this who like me, sometimes find themselves on the receiving end of CC, never lose hope in the power of God to intervene. When people try to cancel you out, let the love of Christ give you the affirmation and validation no human can give. Believing in Jesus is our salvation (see John 3:16-17).

            God’s love, as expressed through Jesus coming to this earth, cancelled victimhood once and for all. The gospel “cancels” no person. Each is redeemable, no matter how bad their actions may have been in the past, or how bad others’ actions toward them may have been. Jesus is our Redeemer. Jesus is our Refuge. Jesus delivers us from victim to victory.   

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry