Overcoming Depression

 Depression can be thought of in two major categories—circumstantial and chemical malfunction.  Chronic depression caused by brain sickness is less common in the overall spectrum of depression experiences and will not be addressed here.  However, depressed mood is something every person faces at one time or another and can strike at any time.

Depression usually stems from unresolved disappointment.  Disappointments and losses occur in varying frequencies and intensities creating many different reactions and symptoms of body, mind, and heart.  If your depression is disrupting daily functions in your life, you should seek help from a trusted friend or counselor to avoid becoming a harm to yourself or someone else.  However, especially if depression is a fairly new occurrence in your life, be aware that depressed mood is very common (normal) and accompanies an often necessary process of grieving losses in life experiences. For example, if a close friend or relative of yours recently died, the physical loss is accompanied by emotional losses of the relationship.  The loss creates the need to acknowledge the impact of the event, deal with the realities, and adjust to find new hope and ways of having legitimate needs met.  This grieving process may include intense depressing thoughts and feelings before you can find a way to accept the changes and move on to a more rewarding life.

            Other losses such as health problems, job and career changes, relationship breakups, physical injuries, family turmoil, and faith shake-ups create similar normal depressive thoughts and feelings. Instead of denying or numbing the emotional impact, the healthiest path to adjustment includes dealing with the pain and difficulties.  The emotion of anger, for example, is often part of depression.   In my recent article called Anger Management or Anger Engagement I share more detail how to battle the anger.  http://authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2015/09/anger-management-or-anger-engagement.html .

 Besides depressed mood, the clinical definition of depression includes examining other symptoms such as excessive body weight gain or loss, sleeping more or less, psychomotor changes, fatigue, difficulty concentrating or thoughts of death.  Mental health experts agree on some common coping strategies such as increase physical activity, avoid isolating yourself from other people, engage in activities that once liked to do, watch a funny movie, and avoid punishing yourself for feeling bad.  Seeing a medical doctor to rule out physical problems is recommended.  These and all the coping mechanisms in the world will not be enough if one core issue is not dealt with. That issue is self concept.  A person’s perception of self-worth governs everything about a person’s behavior.  Our inner person health centers around our perceived worthfulness in view of God and other people around us.  Many of my blog articles show how this is true and the one I mention above on the topic of anger is especially relevant to depression. 

            As for me, I have discovered God’s love as the solution to my self worth dilemmas and a place of refuge to escape depression.  As part of my formal education in psychology, I discovered I fit the definition of clinical depression, but never had been diagnosed.  To this day I’ve never taken medication to treat depression (neither legal nor illegal substances).  My background includes severe injury during the birth process that caused me to live my life as a legally blind person.  I’ve overcome many challenges, but depression is something that lurks to steal the joy of the sweetest successes.  I sometimes identify with the Psalmist who asks, “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?” (Psalm 13:2)   

            Many peoples’ stories recorded in the Bible include symptoms of depression.  The Psalms in particular describe vivid bouts of depression and its close cousin, anxiety.  I read, sing, and interact with the Psalms each day to find Refuge from the storms of thoughts of defeat and disaster.  See http://authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2011/05/refuge-of-psalm-7.html for an example.

            If you are dealing with depression may I encourage you to turn to God as the best source for hope for lasting change. Also seek help from a counselor who can point you in a Refuge direction.  If someone close to you is struggling with depression, consider how you may become more empathetic to this struggle so you can offer appropriate (non-condemning) help.  If you’re not affected by depression at the present time, praise God, and let God remove any emotional “baggage” so you are better prepared to weather well any storms of life that may be ahead.  Prevention is always the healthiest strategy (see http://authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2015/03/taking-out-trash.html ). 

            May I encourage you to allow hope to rise within you.  Hope is a guaranteed way to overcome depression.  Personal growth expert Jim Rohn says, “Success is not something you pursue; it’s something you attract.  You attract success by becoming a more attractive person.”  I think this applies to hope as well.  You attract hope by becoming a more hopeful person.  Hope is more than wishful thinking.  There are always new things to learn, new skills to develop, new people to get to know, and new perspectives to discover about God and his love.  When expectations see failure, hope sees the substance for the future.  Hope can never disappoint.  Hope resolves uncertainties and puts depression in its place.

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm .

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Loss to Victory - Part 1

            It's been said that constant change is here to stay.  Even the smallest of changes can create distress, but sometimes conflicts or crises create situations that makes a person feel like a tsunami hit his or her emotions.  Each person is different in how they react to stress.  Some changes (stressors) effect an individual's sense of normalcy more drastically than others.  When the negative effects of stress go undetected or unidentified over time, the buildup of cumulative stress may create a "break down" that forces a person to pay attention to what's going on inside the heart.   This post is meant to help the reader stay free of such a breakdown.

             Sometimes life doesn't seem fair.  Bad things happen to good people.  While many events in life seem uncontrollable, the choices a person makes also greatly effect the amount and intensity of change.  For example, when a person marries, it is to be expected that relationship with family, friends, and roommates will change significantly.  Or when a person moves to a neighborhood predominantly occupied by a different ethnicity, change is inevitable. 

            Whether by choice or not, all change incurs loss.  Any transition from one thing to another means that something is gained and something is given up or "lost."  Even "good change" involves some sort of loss.  In the example of marriage, the companionship gained by investing in a life-long covenant, involves at least a certain amount of distance to develop in former hangout buddies.  And although a healthy marriage maintains some individuality of each spouse, two spouses now relate to their buddies as a pair instead of as individuals. The amount of time spent together, places they go, and interests they pursue together are typical things that change.  Failing to recognize this shift  (loss) in the relationship can lead to some very difficult conflicts.  Another huge area of change after marriage involves finances in terms of how money is earned and spent together.

            Losses are identified by two major categories--tangible and intangible (sometimes called primary and secondary).  Tangible losses are physical losses of people, places, and things.  Examples are a house lost in a fire, a loved one's untimely death, or a family treasure stolen by a thief.  Intangible losses often follow these losses, hence they are attached to the term "secondary."  But their impact is often anything but secondary.  For example, the tangible loss of a spouse dying in a traffic accident, creates innumerable psychological and emotional losses for the family left behind.  Young children lose a caretaker, protector, provider, nurturer, teacher, and all the other roles of a parent. The spouse loses a co-parent, companion, lover, friend and all the other things "spouse" means to the person left behind.  Deep losses can even create core inner questions such as, "who am I?" and "what purpose do I have remaining?" after an unexpected death.  If a house is lost another place to live can be found, or if a car is totalled another car can be obtained.  Intangible losses, however, give a person no way to measure the value of loss and are sometimes impossible to replace.  

            Other examples of life events triggering loss include job changes, career shifts, co-worker dismissals, living arrangement transitions, gaining or losing a leadership position, team changes, keeping up with demands in school, legal challenges, tax issues, financial woes, health concerns, birth of a child, accidental fire or injury, traumatic experiences, death of a loved one, abusive relationship, conflict in relationships, and combinations of all the above. The list goes on!  Deep disappointment and overwhelming feelings may be created by the unresolved stress of these losses. 

            Having lived five and a half decades, I've had my share of losses in life.  I will spare you having to read my list, but I've discovered it to be a helpful exercise to list them on paper and consider the effects.  Feeling 'loss' from life's transitions, conflicts, and crises  is to be expected and very common.  Giving yourself and others space to grieve is an important aspect of dealing with the losses.  Understanding grief in the context of loss has helped me tremendously in living a more stress-free life.  In Part 2 (next post) I will share some of my thoughts on finding freedom through the grieving process. 

            Let me encourage you to take some time to identify losses and discover where they may have made a hole in your heart and still be affecting you.  Make some lists while answering questions like the following.   What "tangible" loss(es) have you experienced in the last few years?  What "intangible" losses has each tangible loss created?  What social, psychological, emotional, or other transitions have you been required to make as a result?  How well do you think you have adjusted?  How well does your closest friend think you are doing with these changes?

            You do not have to remain stuck in feeling alone, forgotten, or overwhelmed.  If you can, share what you are discovering with a trusted friend or counselor.  Check back for the next post on how to allow yourself to grieve in order to help release the pain.

            Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near Lancaster Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging at  Blue Rock BnB http://bluerockbnb.com 

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry