Words Matter for Leaders

            Topics in the previous (part 1) article discussed euphemism,  political correctness (PC), and abuse by the media.  Reading it will help provide a foundation for what I address here to leaders and specifically Christian speakers.   

            In the book of James a warning is given that, "we who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1).   I believe that part of this judgment involves the words we use and the care given to choosing biblical correctness over political correctness (see also 2 Timothy 4:3). 

            Inaccurate speech dilutes and devalues the message.  I used the example of the word "choice" in the previous article.  Another example is the word "gay."  Gay has become a euphemism for the word homosexual.  In addition, attaching the word gay to the word marriage makes it a much more complicated issue.  Every time the word marriage is used to describe a homosexual union, the true biblical definition of the word marriage (and the Word of God) is down graded and  defamed. 

            I agree with the comments of psychologist and author Dr. James Dobson in this video following the June 16, 2016 US Supreme Court decision:

http://drjamesdobson.org/media/parenting-and-marriage-videos/dr-dobson-on-the-definition-of-marriage .  Marriage is a God-ordained institution and cannot be redefined by a man-made court.  Our speech must uphold the godly definition.  Christ himself says, "at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,  and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’" (Matthew 19:4-5).  If we believe Christ's words there is absolutely no way to justify using the term "same-sex" to describe a marriage relationship. 

            It grieves me deeply every time I hear a pastor or Christian leader use the words "gay" (or "same-sex") and the word "marriage" together to describe the unholy union of homosexual relationship.  A position of leadership and influence requires a closer scrutiny of the words used to speak truth and wholeness for personal and community well-being.  This terminology is a crafty twist of the truth conceived by the enemy of our souls.  A Proverb says, "A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul" (Proverbs 18:7).  Words matter.  We should not be foolishly repeating words we picked up through the media (or any other source) when they so blatantly defy the Truth.  

            Dr. Dobson and others warn of the dangers of redefining marriage.  Whenever a word (like marriage) is misused, the true meaning is diminished.  When "same-sex marriage" is spoken, the biblical definition is degraded and disavowed.  Words matter.  They speak life and support of true marriage, or they speak death and detract from the true meaning of marriage.  

            As the moral climate of our culture deteriorates, examples of these kinds of misuse of words are on the increase.  We must be vigilant to recognize the falsehood, and use alternatively accurate words to ensure integrity of speech. 

            In case you still think I'm making a big deal out of nothing, consider further what the Bible has to say about words.  In the context of prayer and communicating with God, Ed Kurath in the book I Will Give You Rest writes,  "For some reason, God set up the universe in such a way that words have power. Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light (Genesis 1:3). The words that I speak bring my thoughts into reality. Once they are spoken, it is as though a legal contract has been signed, or a legal event has happened, in the spiritual realm. The words can be "bad" and bring about difficulty (for example judging), or they can be "good" and bring about life (for example blessing someone)." 

            A spoken word has great power.  In fact, we call the Bible "the Word" of God because it carries the authority of God.  God's authority is supreme authority.  God's authority is revealed through a number of human beings recording His words throughout a period of time to be included in the cannon of Scripture.  Consider what is recorded in the Bible about God Himself.  John records in his gospel, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it (John 1:1-5). 

            Jesus came as the Word.  Our very life depends on the Word.  Every person's soul is doomed to darkness without the light of the Word.  The Word speaks life.  The Word speaks light.  To be called disciples of Christ, we must speak the Word.  We must speak light.  We must speak life.   

            My purpose for writing this is not only to raise awareness of language used toward evil ends, but to encourage speakers of truth to redeem the spoken language.  We must be careful not to use strictly PC speech, and let people know why we are using terms which speak truth.  It's not enough to use "biblically correct" language ourselves, but we must teach other disciples of Christ to do so as well.  If Jesus is the Word, we must represent Him with our words.  If the Bible is the Word, we must use words that speak Truth.  If Jesus matters to you, words matter.  If the Bible matters to you, words matter. 

            Please understand I am not advocating using inconsiderate, insensitive, or deliberately offensive language to make a point.  With love as our motivation (see Ephesians 4:25), we must demonstrate the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our speech (Galatians 6:22).  Because ultimate Truth rests with God, there will always be some people offended by the Truth (see 1 Peter 2:8).  Some will label Truth speakers as intolerant, bigoted, and phobic.  We may even be called "deplorables" and "irredeemables" (if you remember the 2016 political candidate using those terms). There will always be those who consider the Truth to be "hate speech."  Hatred of the Word is what put Jesus to death. 

             Proclaimers of the Word are not called to be trendy, relatable, or relevant as a first priority.  Considering our audience or delivery methods is not as important as considering who owns the message we have to deliver.  Jesus himself says, "The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work" (John 14:10).  Jesus says this in the context of explaining that He and the Father are one.  Christ's message is Father God's message.  As Christ's disciples, our message is Father God's message. 

            The phrase "same sex marriage" pollutes the atmosphere with a false, ungodly  message.  Never, never, say it!  By speaking the words we are  participating in the acceptance of the practice of homosexuality.  Worse yet, we   are speaking death to marriage.  Next to our relationship with God, marriage is the most sacred relationship mankind can know.  Marriage is God's creation from the beginning and provides the foundation for human existence.  The definition of marriage cannot be tampered with. 

            A message is made of the words used to deliver it.  Words matter. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart; be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer" (Psalm 19:14).  May this be the prayer of our heart, and the motivation for the words we speak. 

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Sailing to New Horizons - Part 2

            Part One focused metaphorically on the dangers of trying to sail through life without proper care for the soul.  Dry docking the boat is a sailing term for taking the boat offline to inspect and re-enforce stressed or weakened parts as a result of traveling the seas. Dry dock (downtime) is essential for ensuring stability and mobility through the storms of life guaranteed to test our vessel (personal being).  This Part Two focuses more on the practicals of dry dock. 

            There are many aspects of soul care which contribute to a healthy quality of life.  Sailing a boat requires knowing how to harness the power of the wind to navigate in a particular direction.  So too in life there are truths and principles that create predictable results.  Good ethics, character development, life skills, and virtuous living all help for things to go well in life.  Our performance-based culture rewards our focus on these kinds of activities.  But a truth frequently forgotten, is that good performance is predicated by how well we ”perform”  in our private thoughts and inner world. 

            As we noted, the main purpose of the keel, beneath the waterline, is to balance the boat.   When the keel is weakened or broken, the ship is in severe danger of losing its  balance in the slightest storm conditions, causing the ship to capsize with no chance to survive.  Balancing the time a ship spends sailing on the sea with time spent in dry dock to maintain its seaworthy condition, is crucial for survival.  Balancing the time we spend pursuing our duties in life (as a parent, employee, leader, member, friend, etc.), with time spent temporarily putting those duties aside for rest, is imperative for life to go well.   

            True rest is the balance that keeps your sailboat sailing. Proper rest is designed to renew and restore life.  There is no way around it.  Rest is the activity that keeps you active, creative, and productive.  Let's briefly consider four types of rest.  To help us remember these four types, let's unpack an acronym to sail (S-A-I-L).  The S is Sleep.  The A is Activity.  The I is Inspiration and Inspection.  The L is Listening intently.   

            1.  Sleep.  Sleep is the activity that completely shuts down our conscious mind for about one third of every day.  Yes, we sleep about one third of our lives.  Sleep is a huge and fascinating topic too big to explore here,  but two points are worthy of mention.  Although opinions may vary as to how much sleep is enough, making the decision to do what it takes to get enough sleep is the only way you will get enough sleep.  You must decide your sailing vessel (body and soul) cannot sail without it.  Secondly, sleep is not just for the body to rest, but also for the psyche to rest.  Especially for those in people helping activities on a daily basis, sleep  is important to maintain psychological sharpness and stability.     

            2. Activity.  In order to maximize the rest factor, consider better management of your daily activity.  Make the most of the types, durations, flows, and intensities of routine tasks.    Avoid extremes and practice moderation.  Maybe your employer controls a great deal of how your time is spent on the job, but you can limit stress by making time for sports, hobbies, music, reading, playing games with family, and other things you find relaxing.   Make "play" an intention practice in three areas: physical (eg. sports), spiritual (eg worship), and psychological (eg. reading).  Be aware of circumstances that sap your "emotional energy," and counter them with something that fills your "emotional tank."   

            3. Inspiration and Inspection.  This type of rest is meant to "feed" the spirit part of your being.  Humans are designed as spirit beings, and thus need spiritual food as desperately  as they need physical food to nourish the physical body.  A dictionary definition of inspiration is, "a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul."  Spiritual food may include time spent alone with God (getting to know Him better),  pursuing God together with other people, or anything with the goal of inspiring faith, hope, and love with divine qualities. 

            Inspection works hand in hand with inspiration to keep us honest about our true spiritual condition.  We need self-evaluation and input from other people to stay true to our core identity and purpose in life.  Our natural tendency is to try to make life work without God's help.  Even those who consider themselves God-followers have a leaning to "do life" under, over, from, or for God, as compared to living "with" God.  For an explanation of how this works, see Skye Jethani's excellent book called With: Re-imagining the Way You Relate to God. 

            4. Listening intently.  The fourth type of rest, and the most engaged form of dry dock, is listening intently.  Listening could be thought of as an extension of both inspiration and inspection described above.  I use the term listening to emphasize an active receiving mode.  It is not merely "hearing," or passive intellectual or emotional stimulation.  The goal of listening is to transform (for the better) who you are as a person.  It is not to evaluate performance as much as it is to uncover and strengthen your inner being.  The ultimate response of listening involves surrender.  The real secret to rest is complying with a definition that was given about 2000 years ago in Christ's words,  “Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest.  Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest.  Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light”  (Matthew 11:28-30; ERV).  Listening acknowledges our need for help outside of ourselves. 

            God's voice of truth is all around us.  God speaks words of life.  We can only hear them, if we are listening.   Listening postures may include intentional quiet, complete silence, reflection, meditation, journaling, recording, and waiting.  Every so often, it is imperative to get away from ALL distractions for personal retreat.  Listening is rarely practiced in our culture.  A big reason is our lack of success at filtering out distractions.  Eliminating the hindrance of "noise" is the first step toward listening. 

            Noise is so commonly tolerated that its hard for some people to imagine an experience in life without it.  Sheer busyness (over-scheduling) is a huge source of noise.  Noise is somewhat dependent on background and culture.  A New York City dweller is adapted to noise more than an Amish farmer in Lancaster, PA.  A hearing impaired person is more likely confused by background noise, when  holding a conversation in a crowded room.  An example of psychological noise may be your inner voice telling you lies about who you are (or are not) as a person because of past hurts or wounds.  This kind of baggage noise causes excess weight to make sailing your ship even more difficult.  Whether it be circumstantial, physical, or psychological noise, the more noise, the less listening is possible.  Less listening means less rest.  Without the dry dock of rest, your ship (life) is more likely to break down when storms rage like job loss, close relationship loss, health loss, or financial  loss.     

            To the degree that you practice dry dock (these types of rest) you will be best prepared for the stressors of life when they come.  Your ship is made ready to S-A-I-L. 

            From time to time in my own life, I am forced to make some decisions needed to help me sail.  One example is my use of the cell phone.  I have chosen to limit my use of the phone for voice communication and not access the Internet.  I do a lot of my work on the computer, but do not want my computer on my phone.  The distraction would be too great.  I consider "texting" too great a temptation for distractibility as well,  I do not text.  I'm not a technophobe.  I spent 17 years developing software for my employment.  I simply cherish the "listening time" I maintain without the greater level of  noise.

For me, convenience is never a good enough reason to go with new communication  technology.  Research is starting to show the great danger in over-stimulation caused by recent technology.  I'm not saying that my personal boundaries should be adopted by everyone, but everyone needs designated personal time with their communication devices turned off completely.     

            In the Christian community, statistics are huge for burnout among church workers, pastors, missionaries, and leaders.  A variety of things may contribute to a shipwreck incident, but one of the greatest failures is the lack of dry dock.  I am committed to the value of rest in my personal life, and I want to see others become better sailors as well.   Personal retreats, sabbaticals, debriefings, or extended times to focus on inner strength should be considered normal procedure in the concept of ministry.  There are resources available to help.  I have linked with a group of care providers to offer personal debriefing for missionaries.  The Le Rucher model of debriefing has  helped thousands over the years.  For more information see  http://leruchereastcoastusa.org .   I have also helped many pastors and leaders through the counseling and spiritual coaching at the Blue Rock Bed and Breakfast.  Upon request, I tailor retreat activities based on time available, ministry setting, and specific needs for renewal. 

            Reading Gordon MacDonald's book called The Life God Blesses inspired me to write this article.   I encourage you to read his book, and consider dry dock an essential part of your work.  If you're not taking care of yourself, it's only a matter of time until you won't be taking care of anybody.  If you contact me, I would be glad to assist you in finding a better way to S-A-I-L to new horizons.

Note:  If you are reading this and you also provide ways to dry dock for struggling Christian leaders, please contact me so we can get acquainted.  Referral sources and mutual support is welcomed for this type of care.

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry