So, when
was your last sabbatical, personal retreat, or just a few days of
vacation? Failure to balance work with
appropriate rest is one of the most common reasons people in leadership and
service professions are forced to quit.
Here are a few tips.
In a book
called The Life God Blesses, Gordon MacDonald tells the story of an
expert sailor named Michael Plant. In
1992 he set out from the US east coast to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a
sailboat with the best equipment available and the experience of having done
this routine many times before. About
two weeks into the voyage, his boat was found floating upside down in the sea
with no signs of the man. MacDonald
tells this story to point out that "we're all in the same boat" (pun
intended), and that success in our life's journey is much like the metaphor of
sailing.
Have you or
someone you know experienced a hard-to-explain sailing accident or
shipwreck? By wreck or serious accident
I mean burnout, psychological breakdown (depression, anxiety, etc.), addiction,
moral failure, suicide, homicide, or other criminal actions. Demands of life seem to create stressors in
greater numbers and intensity than ever before in history. Professional achievement, accumulation of wealth,
and outwardly happy marriage and family life do not automatically translate
into a successful voyage.
Hard work ethic, good friends and family, latest technology,
and even strong faith are sometimes not enough to navigate the storms and
trials of life. Storms happen. Disruptions occur. Only foolishness makes us think we are immune to bad things
destroying our lives.
Plant's
boat capsized mainly because a four ton weight had detached from its keel. MacDonald mentions, "I
discovered this much about sailboats as I read about Michael Plant’s tragedy. I
learned that in order for a sailboat to maintain a steady course, and in order
for it not to capsize but to harness the tremendous power of the wind, there
must be more weight below the waterline than there is above it. Any
violation of this principle of weight distribution means disaster." Although not visible, the boat's keel beneath the waterline is the
most important part of the boat.
Plant's sailboat was found upside down because of failure of its
keel. Our lives get turned upside down
when we fail to maintain our keel (soul) beneath the waterline (unseen inner
person).
A sailboat
must be properly maintained to ensure it can withstand the stormy seas. Over time joints crack, bolts rust, wind-driven
structures shift, and the salty sea water requires replacement of parts and
reconditioning of other parts. The only
way to do the necessary repairs is to dry dock
the boat. Dry docking is
removing the boat from the water so the parts beneath the waterline can be
accessed. Without dry docking, safety
is compromised, and the boat is guaranteed to fail at some point, likely at a
most inopportune moment in stormy seas.
Sailing to
new horizons in our life requires occasional "dry docking." Depending on your circumstances and type of
work this may mean vacation, debriefing, extended time off, sabbatical,
personal retreat, re-training, rehabilitation, or a major re-evaluation of your
current path. Sometimes life above the
waterline gets too busy keeping the business, church, organization, service, or
ordinary roles and expectations moving
along. Good appearance may become a
higher priority than genuine soul care.
Our inner being beneath the waterline so-to-speak, is overlooked. When our reliances, rewards, and
relationships are only at a surface level, we are in great danger of
"cracks" developing in our soul.
Cracks
expand into compromised life structures.
For example, an unhealthy habit may turn into an addiction. A "difficult person" to deal with
may trigger old forgotten wounds making it impossible to feel at peace. Or, a stressful situation may turn into a
traumatic event because it is the third major stressor in a short period of time. Cracks in our soul will eventually break us,
likely in the most inopportune time,
wrecking our lives, and often, many lives around us. Dry docking our activities, specifically for
the purpose of inspecting the condition of our soul, is a necessary part of
life.
A Proverb says, "Above all else,
guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs
4:23). The core of human experience is
the inner being. Most of the actions
people take spring from the hidden unconscious level. Relatively speaking, very few decisions are made at the conscious
level. Humans are creatures of habit,
always preferring the familiar over the unknown, even if the familiar is
unwise, treacherous, or dangerous. Gaping cracks develop in our soul (and
remain unseen beneath the waterline)
because we tolerate the small cracks which make us increasingly
vulnerable. Most people who have an
affair, for example, don't set out to have sex with someone other than their
spouse. The "play around"
with flirting and one emotional attachment upon another sails them on a voyage
of no return. Things like pornography,
drugs, and work-a-holism happen the same way.
Sometimes the only way to "guard your heart" (as the proverb
says) is to dry dock and discover excesses (or omissions) in your
behaviors.
The
invisible keel of your personal life (whether you call it your soul, heart,
core-self, inner person, spiritual center, or whatever), guides the course and
quality of your entire existence. Are
you giving your keel the attention it needs?
Are you feeding your soul a healthy diet? Are you protecting your heart from as much harmful influence as
you know how? Are you dry docking long
enough to ask these kinds of questions?
Are you being transparent with someone close to you for evaluation and
assessment of your true condition?
You may be
a great "sailor" (skillful leader or well-qualified manager), have a
great sailing "crew" (staff and volunteers), and even have
successfully navigated difficult "voyages" in the past (persevered
through trying circumstances). The fact
remains, to keep your "vessel" (personal life) sea-worthy, you must
make "dry dock" (rest and re-evaluation) a regular and intentional
part of your "sailing" (life journey) experience. Taking a respite from your primary work or
service project is not a sign of poor leadership, weak resolve, or lacking in
mental, emotional, and spiritual stability.
Making a choice to dry dock is your only hope to develop resilience
needed for the long haul.
It's even
okay to admit you need help repairing your keel. There are people who specialize in repairing of cracks, re-alignments. and recalibration of the
soul. Good counselors help people live
psychologically healthy lives from a whole person perspective. Emotional health is another topic I discuss
in many articles on this blog site.
Three years
ago I wrote an article to lay out specific actions people helpers can take to
practice self-care. It is called Taking
Care for Care-Givers at:
http://authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2014_03_01_archive.html . Since that writing I have become aware of at
least a half dozen significant leaders in our community who have wrecked their
lives and many lives around them. Their
offenses include murderer and other actions that have taken them to
prison. Through my counseling I am
indirectly connected to dozens more of similar cases. Sometimes the most difficult thing to grieve in these losses is
the surprise element. Many are
"good people" giving no indication of their deepest struggles. Successfully sailing the seas of life takes
much more than good works and strong will power. Dry docking our sailboats must be taken more seriously. If we are going to sail far enough to see
new horizons, we must first look into the hidden parts of our being for new
strength and vitality. My next article
will be a part 2 with more specific ways of dry dock.
One
more comment to those who follow God as their source for inner strength and
peaceful sailing. God has done his part
in providing a Savior for us to experience rebirth and spiritual renewal. It is up to us to surrender our hearts to
him for his inspection and periodic dry docking for spiritual health. Spiritual leaders are particularly prone to
the perils of sailing without adequate attention on the keel. My prayer is that dry dock becomes more an
accepted practice for the journey. I
make myself available as much as I can to assist. Have a great voyage! by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry
