In a free
society the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental right, correct? At first glance, that's what the US
Declaration of Independence seems to indicate.
However, is happiness the goal, or the fruit of a goal?
Darren
Hardy, editor of Success Magazine says, "Happiness is not a pursuit; it's
a choice. Happiness is a state of mind;
obtainable at any time, in any moment of your choosing." Psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor
Viktor Frankl says, "It's the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts
happiness."
Happiness
is not found in pursuing pleasure in an event(s), but it's about enjoying the
journey. It is fine to feel pleasure,
but this temporary condition should not be confused with happiness. Feelings of happiness and joy are produced
by a pursuit of significance, purpose, and meaning in life.
Two
specific actions are guaranteed to produce happiness: expressing gratitude and making someone else happy. First of all, when we are thankful, we allow
no room for unthankful thoughts in our brain.
Intentional gratefulness, including sitting down and making a list of
things we can be thankful for, leaves no space for unhappiness to take root in
our mind. Blessing someone else is also
an automatic buster of unhappy thoughts. "It is better to give than to receive" always holds out
when trying to find significance and meaning for your existence.
Experts
evaluate levels of happiness by focusing on success in four main areas of
life; 1) material abundance, 2) love
and relationships, 3) health and well-being, and 4) spirituality. There are physical (biological) benefits to
happiness. When you're contented, your
brain functions better. Your immune
system is optimized, neither
aggressively producing too many chemicals and not too suppressed. disallowing
foreign substances to invade the body.
This balance is necessary for the health of the whole person.
Finding
"success" in a particular venture, career, relationship, possession
etc. doesn't necessarily mean you will be happy. Success must be defined holistically. Many people incorrectly believe that happiness comes from
the types of things they own or the kind of career they pursue, but true
happiness (peace and joy) is more about a person’s character than anything
else. Happiness is not so much based on
what you do, but who you
are. For
example, happiness cannot be based on the number and size of houses you
own. After all, you can only live in
one house at a time. You can only
physically be in one room of one house at a time no matter how large it is and
how many other "toys" there are in other rooms. Life's meaning is found in being present in
each moment, with each person, in each place, making the most of each circumstance
(fated by choice or otherwise).
Inspirational speaker Jim Rohn says happiness must be woven. It must be woven with care. Happiness is created by intention and skill
in weaving a basket strong enough to hold the fruit of good character. Rohn says, "You can be happy with what
you got, while you pursue what you want." The more unfavorable your circumstances (ie. loss of job, house,
relationship, status) the more challenging it may be to embrace this
truth. Accepting a difficult
circumstance (created by your own bad
choices or the bad choices of others) can be a serious roadblock to overcome,
but it CAN be overcome.
Dale
Carnegie also contrasts success and happiness when he says, “Success is getting
what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” Happiness is in deciding to enjoy the journey more than the
event. Misplaced expectations and
misjudgments about happiness can create a lot of disappointment and frustration
in life. But, no matter how desperate things appear, there is always something
to be thankful for, some reason to find hope.
For many, faith in God is a vital source of hope. Research has shown and it is commonly
understood that faith is an important element in a person’s physical, emotional
and mental health. A great proverb
says, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the
spirit.” (Proverbs 15:13). Spiritual
health is an important element in a person’s overall health condition.
Happiness
is not an entitlement. Desires and dreams are not enough to achieve
happiness. Hope is not merely wishful
thinking. True hope is, "Confidence in a future event; the highest
degree of well founded expectation of good; as a hope
founded on God's gracious promises" (Webster's 1828 Dictionary) Happiness is realized when you combine
confident expectation with things like gratitude, blessing other people, work
ethic, eating well, and giving God his rightful place in your life.
I
understand that some people reading this may feel they have tried all that and
life still doesn't seem to contain the happiness they desire. If that is you, may I encourage you to seek
help from a trusted friend or counselor to find some answers. My sincere hope is that you can find true
happiness in your life today!
Note: The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from
the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and
finding freedom in forgiveness. This
book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith) to discover and dislodge things in life that
lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful
tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here:
http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near
Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging
at http://bluerockbnb.com
by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry
