Do you (or someone you care about) think you want to be a person of the opposite sex? Or a person with no gender, or intergender, or …. (or one of the many variations these days)?
If ever you should be thinking about your identity, and your future, it is now, before you do something irreversible. There are so-called doctors who want to make money from doing procedures that are so horrible, they were unthinkable until recent media propaganda has made them acceptable. But what is the truth, and who REALLY cares about YOU? There are so-called civil rights advocates twisting the numbers to make it look inviting, popular, or progressive to show disrespect for age-old traditions that serve to protect humanity from oblivion. But, what is the truth, and who really cares about yout rights? There are even so-called scientists who create studies to skew results for people to think distorted sexuality is a biology issue. But, what is the truth, and who REALLY cares about YOU?
Here are some basic facts. God created the human race. The human body is a biological wonder. Sexuality is one of those wonders. It exists in only one of two forms, male or female. Except in a very rare genetic defect, every individiual is born with body parts that identify them as male or female. The biological sex is the primary contributor to gender identity. Other factors contribute to shaping a person’s identity in adulthood, but none is as significant as gender. Confusion about gender will lead to discontentment and distress about almost everything else in life. A so-called sex change will not resolve gender confusion. Practicing behaviors (dressing, styling, posturing) more typical of the opposite sex will not resolve gender confusion. Nor will obtaining the endorsement of a therapist or mental “health” professional provide lasting peace of mind about who you are as a person. Some may just tell you what you want to hear in order to relieve guilt feelings. But in fact, guilt is a good thing, when it is not confused with shame. Shame condemns, and tells you that you are not worthy of the person you were created to be. Guilt warns you that your behavior is off track, and is a friendly reminder that you need to make some changes to get back on track. Shame is never a good thing, and always has the goal of proving yourself worthless.
God is a huge and undeniable factor in identity. His creation built in unique worthfulness, purpose, and meaning for each person. To the degree we are disappointed, ungrateful, and dissatisfied with our innate circumstances and personal characteristics, we hold God in contempt (rebellion). In doing so, we therefore miss out on the blessing of enjoying who God made us to be. For example, let’s say I am born with brown hair and brown eyes, short, and stocky build. If I idolize blond hair and blue eyes, tall, and thin build, and constantly wish to be someone I was not created to be, I set myself up for frustration and unhappiness. Maybe I constantly blame myself for needing a step-ladder to change a light bulb. Maybe as a child I am ridiculed for being a blimp. Maybe I feel less valuable because I do not have the quickness and agility of more athletic classmates. These are shame thoughts designed by the enemy of our soul to steal our true identity. The same is true for family circumstances. We do not get to choose our dad and mom. They are pre-determined for us, but they are the ones who give us the gift of life. Wishing we had different parents or siblings than the ones we have will not accomplish anything good.
Gender is in the same category. Questioning God’s decision about your gender puts you in contempt of His divine assignment. Nothing good will comes of complaining to, or blaming God for connecting the gene that made you a male or female in your mother’s womb. The raw truth is that it wasn’t your decision, wasn’t ever meant to be your decision, and it cannot be altered.
And then there are the mental health gurus. Recently the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Diagnosies (DSM-V) removed transgender ss a mental problem. In my opinion, this is a slap in the face to people who are genuinely struggling with gender identity. It seems mental health professionals who support this change have abandoned their commitment to core common sense principles of human nature and divine providence. Sometimes they seem too quick to label people for whom a label is the last thing they need. But in the case of gender confusion, a label helps reveal thoughts and behaviors that need transformed rather than accepted and assimilated as normal. Not accepting the reality of biological gender is pathological (sick), and has root causes that need to be discovered, worked through, and transformed into a life-affirming direction.
I see God at the center of that change. I’m not talking about religion. You don’t have to be religious to believe that God created people male and female from the beginning of time. Some things in life are simply out of our control. Fighting those things is foolishness. The ancient Proverbs are right when they say that respect for God and his ways is the beginning of knowlege and understanding. I’ve learned over the years that for many things out of my control, it’s better to cooperate with God and his path through circumstances, rather than fighting for a self-made identity with no foundation upon truth. A person’s perspective change (based on truth about God, who he makes people to be, and how he created them to relate with each other), is the starting point to clear up gender identity issues.
You may need a counselor to help you sort out truth from falsehood and fact from fiction. I encourage you to talk to someone who believes in God’s unconditional love for every person. When we receive God’s love in our heart, we can begin to see (perceive) our true value and worth which is the basis for true identity. I want you to know I DO care for you, and there are many others who care as well. You are not alone in your pain and struggle. Silence the voice of shame by reaching out for help today. You’re most certainly worth it. All because God cares, and He REALLY DOES love you most of all!
by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry
