Family Forever

Adult children who forsake their parents seems to be more common in recent times. It is evidently an age-old problem however, since Solomon addresses it in the Proverbs.  “Whoever robs their father and drives out their mother, is a child who brings shame and disgrace.” (Proverbs 19:26; NIV).

One of the ways so-called “cancel culture” manifests, is by cutting off relationship with a person(s) deemed unlikable or unworthy for some reason, even if no rational reason for harm is present. It should go without saying that this is a practice opposed to godliness and biblical truth.  But it is amazing to me how much I hear of people who call themselves Christ-followers who simply refuse to communicate with people they once called friends. This becomes even more egregious when the person(s) cut off is a family member(s). And when parents are cut off by their children, it is especially “shameful and disgracefull” as the Proverb puts it.

God is a God of reconciliation. God calls his followers to be ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5). Offense is inevitable in the context of the broken world in which we live. At times we may be on one side of offense or the other; the offended person, or the offending person. But God calls us to forgive always, and reconcile whenever possible. Since it takes two to reconcile, and we can’t control the other person(s), we must be committed to pursue making things right in our own hearts to the greatest degree possible. Reconciling leaves no room for “cancelling” or deeming someone (or a situation) irredeemable. 

we are called to treat people with honor and respect (Colossians 3:13). A person’s identity is not the same as their behavior. Even if a person’s behavior is bad, and guilt is real, God can forgive upon their confession and repentance.  and so In condemning bad behavior, we must value the person as a child of God and worthy of His redeeming grace. When people do things that irritate or hurt us, silence and avoidance is not an option. We must try to not allow wounds to fester, so that relationships are not halted by unresolved conflict.

This is especially true in family, as our closest earthly relationships. God ordained family for survival  and training of the young, contribution to community as adults, and sustainability for the human race. As humans we do not have a choice who our parents are. We are born to parents of God’s choosing  and into family by God’s design. We may choose who we want our friends to be, but our blood relatives are chosen for us.

Thus, any ill treatment and dishonoring by adults towards their parents can be viewed as an act of rebellion against God. In fact, this is so important in God’s sight, that it is included as one of the ten commandments (see Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5). The importance Is emphasized even more by Paul making a direct quote (of the Old Testament scriptures) to the Ephesian church, “Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,  so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land” (Ephesians 6:2-3; HCSB). Life going well is directly linked to how one treats their parents.

Life will not go well for anyone who tries to cut off relationship with their parent(s). And cutting off their children’s relationship with their parents (their children’s grandparents) is especially dishonoring. Besides their parents, the second  most important relationship in a child’s life is their grandparents. For parents to deliberately withhold or discourage their developing child’s relationship with their grandparents is acting in contempt of God’s order of things. An obvious exception is when the grandparent(s) pose some sort of harm to the children. But simply having a conflict with the parents, should not preclude their children from having a relationship with their grandparents.

Recently, I’ve encountered a number of parents with adult children casting the parents out of their lives (for no rational reason), and refusing to want to reconcile. This month is when we celebrate the birth of the King of Reconciliation. Jesus “came to seek and to save the lost” (Luke 19:10). Whatever was lost through conflict and separation, God can mend. Jesus saves. But it takes willing hearts.

Christmas is meant to be a time to celebrate with joy, the arrival of the Savior of the world. I pray that during this season, steps toward healing broken family relationships can be taken. I pray the joy of family unity will be restored by the power of what Jesus accomplished by coming to this earth and redeeming mankind.  For those reading this and not having family struggles, please pray for those who are experiencing seemingly unresolvable conflict. When one person in the family hurts, the whole family hurts. When one family hurts, it contributes to a community of hurting families .  Many hurting families contribute to hurting churches, communities,  and a hurting nation. Pray for God’s people to be His  reconcilers, as family forever.

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Thirst for Justice

            So as a good person, you want to live a godly, fulfilling and productive life in the midst of (or in spite of) a world of imperfection and injustice.  Sometimes it seems impossible, right?  If you’re like me, frustration and disappointment seem to be a greater part of my experiences than I would like them to be.  For example, how do we reconcile, or “live in harmony” with someone who wants nothing of it.  Or how do you work as a team when one or more of the so-called team members are  controlling or even a bit manipulative?    Or maybe your own limitations or failures are holding you back from accomplishing greater things.  Whether or not other people change, we can  experience the peace and rest of God that our heart longs for. 

            In order for you to be more tolerant with yourself and others, it is essential for you to understand a human being’s thirst for justice and the “will to judge.” 

            The English word “judge” can mean  many things across a spectrum of “good” judging and “bad” judging.  Good judging may include rightly perceiving,  discerning, and discriminating. “Bad” judging is unfair criticizing, pre-judging, misjudging, demeaning, and condemning.  Communication via language can be very difficult, but with this word "judge," it can be especially  difficult to determine  meaning.  For example, the word  discrimination.  Discrimination is a word of "good" judgment, hijacked in recent years to be widely associated with unfairness.  In other languages, the problem is the same (like the Greek of Bible translations).  Understanding our problems of "bad" judging requires much more than intellect and reason.  It must include searching the inner heart of our own being. 

            Desire for justice is an innate part of our being.  Unfortunately, since the moment sin entered the human race through Adam and Eve, our default mode of judging is “bad” judging.  When man chose to give up existing solely on the “tree of life,” he chose “the tree of the  knowledge of good and evil.”   Judging (in the sense of knowing good from evil) was not originally meant for human practice.  Only God is the ultimate Judge.  God's laws (ways of operating) are supreme.  Therefore, any judgment a person makes, (even a “good” judgment), is subject to re-interpretation by a higher power.  Only God can satisfy our ultimate desire for justice.  God is a God of perfect justice and perfect mercy.

            So, although God did not design and desire man to carry the burden of judgment, the problem is that man wills to be his own Judge.  Our human nature does not want to accept God as Judge.  However, God is Judge, Jury, and Executioner.  He makes judgments, is not subject to anyone else’s interpretation, and acts as He wills on His judgments.   Our rebellion against this authority is sin. 

            One more problem makes the human condition inescapable without Christ as Refuge.  Shame and judgment work together to condemn our personhood.  Shame tells us we are not worthy to be the sons and daughters God created us to be (which is a lie).  We confuse shame (who I am) with guilt (what I do) to condemningly judge ourselves unworthy.  

            This rebellion and shame is so rooted in our nature we accept it as a fact of life.  It shows up in the earliest days of childhood.  Babies have legitimate needs and cry when they are hungry or uncomfortable.  But they sometimes scream  in anger for no apparent reason.  Toddlers sometimes through tantrums simply to demand their way.  Children do not have to be taught how to disobey, steal, manipulate, and the like.  The broken world in which we live imposes hurtful experiences causing perceived wounds and reactions ("bad" roots) of bitterness, resentment, blaming, and justifying.  Reactions turn into learned patterns of behavior forming who we are on the inside.   It is important to recognize, what goes wrong in our life is not because of the bad things others have done to us, but because of our bitter reactions to them. 

            We also do not have ability to  recognize this poor condition.  Each person is blind (for the most part) to their own bitter reactions, wounding, and critically judging.  Our heart could be compared to a vegetable garden with good plants and weeds growing together.  The soil feeds the roots of both good plants and bad.  The good plants try to bring forth fruit in keeping with what they were designed to produce, unaware of the weeds stealing nourishment and limiting their ability to produce.  God as the Gardener of our heart is the only one who can solve the problem by providing a means for taking care of the weed problem. 

            No garden will ever be completely free of weeds.  Even after a good weed pulling session, seeds are in the soil that will eventually produce more weeds.  The seeds of sin are with us as long as we live. Its an unending problem and just part of natural laws.  So too our hearts produce weeds as part of our natural existence. The nicest, most good-hearted, loving person carries the same seed as the most inconsiderate, unloving, or abusive person.  Even unrecognized or unacknowledged bad behaviors (rooted in bad judging) will  grow into unmanageable weeds.  Only the Gardener can take care of the weeds. 

Jesus is the Gift God provided to make things right in our heart.  The miracle cannot be finished with one weed pulling session.  It takes a lifetime of pulling weeks.  This is called transformation and sanctification. 

            The greatest enemy in the garden of the heart is the will to critically judge.  Our deep desire for justice becomes an excuse for condemning ourselves and other people for who they are instead of merely for their actions.  We explain away many condemning judgments on a daily basis.  For example, when you think or verbalize the following with a person or persons closest to you in relationship.  "I told you a million times not to do ____ (whatever annoys you )______ , but you keep being a jerk about it."   Or, "You really don't love me when you __________."  Or, "I cannot love you if you keep doing __________ ."   Or, "Drivers on the highway are jerks when they __________ ."   We accuse and confuse the guilt of "wrong doing" with the shame of "wrong being."  In God's eyes (judgment)  there is no such thing as "wrong being."   God does not think of any person as a jerk.  So, if we believe in justice, we cannot think and act that way either. 

            Again, there is no one exempt from this condition of humanity.  No amount of will power can correct it.   Instead of the "tree of judging" God wants us to enjoy the "tree of life."   Eating fruit from the tree of life means that our thirst for justice is satisfied by the Judge of all judges, not by our own self-determination.  God judged sin and shame to be taken care of through the mercy provided by His own Son, Jesus Christ.

            Other articles on my blog site explain how to apply this to your life through forgiveness and surrendering our heart to God.   If this way of thinking is new to you, or if you had a reaction to something I've written above, go back and read it again.   I promise that if you learn to apply this truth to your life, you will see a huge improvement in your relationships with people.   I would love to hear from you  about how this has made a difference in your life (either before or after reading this). 

            Be blessed in the justice of God Almighty!

             

Note:   A book I authored Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses truth for dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom through forgiveness (from a Christian perspective).  See more about the book by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . 

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Reconciliation: Making Things Friendly

           Forgiving is not the same as reconciling.  In researching the topic of forgiveness for a doctoral degree a number of years ago, the discovery of the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation was the single most life changing discovery of the project.  Remember, forgiving means surrendering to God the right to judge (an offense).   Forgiving restores relationship with God, whereas reconciliation restores relationship human to human (the offender. with those offended).  The good news for the offended is that the  freedom of forgiveness is not tied to the offender's ability (or willingness) to reconcile.  Another important thing to learn is that trying to reconcile before forgiving may actually cause more harm to a relationship than not attempting to reconcile at all.  Forgiveness prepares your heart and helps make your attitude more responsive rather than reactive.  Let me explain more here. 

            First, let's define reconciliation.  According to Webster's dictionary it is “the act of causing two people or groups to become friendly again after an argument or disagreement.”   Reconciling is often not an easy choice.  It may require humility and vulnerability to let other people see who you really are on the inside.  It usually requires confrontation.  The self-confrontation involved in forgiving is one thing, but confronting another person because of an offense can be very scary.  The lack of willingness to confront is often the greatest barrier to reconciliation. 

            Like forgiving, reconciling is not an option for a Christian. It is a mandate.  We must take very seriously the responsibility of attempting to "set things right."   In the previous article called The Commission to Forgive (posted 11/1/15), I quoted a passage from the Apostle Paul's letter to the first century Corinthian church which includes the statement that Christ himself “has committed to us the ministry of reconciliation” (see 2 Corinthians 5:15-20).  So, what might the results of this ministry of reconciliation look like?  I encourage you to read the entire fourth chapter of Ephesians to get a good snapshot of an answer to that question.  Some of the phrases that jump out are these, “live a life worthy,” “be completely humble and  gentle,” ”be patient, bearing one another in love,”  “keep the unity,” “speaking the truth in love,” “grow and build up,” “put off your old self,” “put on the new self,” “be made new in the attitudes of your mind,” and “do not let the sun go down on your anger.”  Summarizing the chapter, “ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  ...  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29:32).   Reconciling is meant to benefit not only the offended, but the offender as well.  When relationships are restored and functioning well, the community at large will also benefit.  Church, business, government, and other organizations thrive on healthy relationships between individuals.  

            It takes at least one party to initiate reconciliation.  It takes two parties to obey the mandate for completing reconciliation.  One of the most common reasons for relational breakup and disunity is a disagreement, disappointment, or offense that has never been processed through.  It is not okay to walk away from a relationship, group, or situation just because you become angry or hurt by things that didn't go your way.  It is okay to have desires, preferences, and high expectations of character  (remembering that no one is perfect), but it is not okay to avoid healthy confrontation of brokenness that causes relational separation and division.  I discuss healthy conflict in a separate article. 

            In the previous article I stated, “Surrendering your right to judge doesn't mean you are surrendering your rights for justice to be served.”  In fact, when the “heart work” of forgiveness begins to produce its good fruit, it requires the action steps (toward reconciliation) to deliver the results to the world around you.  Forgiving an offender does not mean the offender is relieved of due consequences to be paid for an offense.  For example, in the case of abuse, forgiving an abuser is different from holding the abuser accountable for his or her actions.  The safety of the victim must be established and if the abuser's actions are criminal behavior, the laws must be enforced to protect from further victimization and give the victimizer an opportunity to turn away from the sin of abuse and be restored as a person with worth and dignity.  The abuse victim may or may not ever be reconciled to the abuser, but the power of forgiveness can free the victim of the damage caused by the victimization.  The more completely forgiveness is achieved, the greater the degree of freedom to be lived. 

            It is also true that the more completely forgiveness is achieved (the more an offense is surrendered to God), the more prepared an offended person is to attempt reconciliation.  It only takes one party to forgive.  It takes two parties to reconcile.  Remember, there are two sides to every offense (the offender and the offended), and you may find yourself on either side at any given time in a relationship or circumstance.  If the offense seems unintentional on the part of the offender,  forgiveness may be exercised by the offended, but for reconciliation to be complete, the offender may still need to become involved.  Perhaps for example, a minor miscommunication of traveling directions by Jane causes John to be late for an important appointment.  John may forgive Jane and decide it's not worth mentioning Jane's mistake to her.  John may even hold himself responsible for not double checking or using a different source to find the information he needed.  But then another similar incident occurs between Jane and John, and John has a harder time to forgive and the need to reconcile becomes more evident.      

            The teaching of Jesus addresses the issue of repeat offendenses among brothers and sisters in Christ.   One reference is in Matthew 18:15-17.  I'll not go into detail here, but when reconciliation is attempted by the person offended, and the offender wants nothing to do with reconciliation or justice, it is time to get help from a friend or advocate.  Forgiveness, without pursuing reconciliation or justice, may only make the situation worse for everyone. 

            Sometimes offensive behaviors get excused as personality traits, styles of leadership, attributes of  professionalism, or “everybody does it” generalities.  They may even pose as necessity to keep the peace, tolerable as long as no one is getting hurt, or as a short-term loss to achieve a long-term benefit 

However, the truth, requires pain with gain, no short-cuts to relational integrity, confrontation to achieve inner peace, and trustworthy character to facilitate trust.  Leaders can fall into the trap of offense as quickly as anyone else.  Look at Moses for example.  One of the strongest leaders of the ancient Israeli people, witnessed an incident of severe injustice against a kinsman.  Although his intentions were good in trying to help his fellow Hebrew brothers and sisters, his attitude and behaviors that led to killing an Egyptian slave-driver back-fired.  Moses had to escape and live in hiding for 40 years as a result of his mistake.  Attempting short-cuts, when it comes to forgiving and reconciling,often erect negative relational walls that create confusion, erode authenticity, prohibit collaboration, and ultimately destroy trust and  trustworthiness.

            People are not the enemy.  People's actions (offenses) are the enemy.  We have a great Enemy who uses offenses (people's actions) in an attempt to divide and conquer.  We must be wise to this tactic and vigilant to resist the trap of offense.  People align with  the enemy when they refuse to reconcile. 

            Sometimes you can become an "enemy" of  yourself.   A person's perception of low self-worth and poor self-concept is at the core of all human problems.  God gave his only Son Jesus as our saving grace to reconcile us back to the Father.  Father creates worth and value into each child born into the human race.  The broken pieces of the human heart are reconciled back to Father through Jesus Christ (again see 2 Corinthian 5:15-20).  Your true value is based on who God made you to be as His son or daughter.  It's not based on what you have done or failed to do.   Believing in Jesus and surrendering your heart to God means you are relying on Christ's completed work of reconciliation.  It does not mean you have to come up with the strength to forgive and reconcile, but rely on the strength God gives you (see Matthew 11:28-29).  You have a choice to rely on the power of God every time you are offended.  Why not do it?

            Some offenses seem more difficult to forgive and reconcile than others.  Examples might be infidelity of a spouse, murder or other crime against a family member , or severe injustice of a tribal nature.   When God's power is invited into the situation, hope is much more free to win over a hopeless cause.   After reconciling with God (receiving his unconditional love), reconciling with fellowman becomes easier.  This is a continual process.  Christ's work is complete, but our work of cooperating must be ongoing. 

            May I encourage you to take the following steps toward deepening a commitment to reconciliation as a more common practice in your life.  First, identify an area of unforgiveness or unreconciled problem you have toward another person.  Next, if forgiveness is not complete, make a list of all the actions that caused offense (hurtful words spoken, mistreatments, negligence, transgressions).  Be as specific as possible.  Pray, confess, repent for any of your own reactive judgments, and forgive. Next, (if you believe you have surrendered your judgments to God), pray and discern strategy to address the offense with the offender.  Go in a spirit of humility and empathy, recognizing the flip side of offense is in your own life as well.  Keep the circle of people who know about the offense as small as is necessary to bring resolution.  Do not engage in slander or gossip to make yourself become  an offender.  After completing the actions you believe are necessary to bring resolution, and there still is no resolution, commit to following the path of asking an advocate to go with you (as outlined in Matthew 18:15-17) if the offender is a brother or sister in Christ.    Otherwise, pursue the matter  with the appropriate systems of justice to bring resolution.   Obviously, in cases of abuse or endangerment, the above steps should be abandoned to seek help immediately, outside the inner circle of the problem. 

            If you believe you've tried the steps outlined above and you still feel "stuck," it is probably time to get the help of a trusted friend or counselor.  Try going back to step one and examine forgiveness.  Be willing to allow God to show you a deeper level of forgiveness.  God is most glorified when we allow him to lead us through this process.  If there are numerous situations in your life that need to be reconciled, start with a small one, work it through to success, and don't become overwhelmed by trying too many, too soon. 

            One more tip is to discern whether the offender needs to be involved at all.  The offense may be small enough for you to simply need to forgive.  If you are 100% sure of what you are letting go, and totally certain the efforts of attempting to engage the other party would outweigh any potential benefits, let it go.  Misunderstandings, errors, and accidents are just part of our broken human condition.  Take the Beatles' advice and "Let It Be!" 

            When it must be, be a reconciler.  A real friend will want to be reconciled.  Be a friend, and  make things friendly again. 

                Note:   In Chapters Seven and Eight of the book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart, the topic of reconciliation is discussed in more detail.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ   More can be discovered by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm
by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Forgiveness

            Last month the world mourned the death of Nelson Mandela, a man known for his understanding and practice of forgiveness in the face of injustice.  

            In 2010 I finished a three year dissertation research project on the topic of forgiveness.  I subsequently authored a book (including much of that research) on the topic (see Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart).  In addition to these academic pursuits I have wrestled with this topic in my personal experiences both on the offending side and as one who has been offended.  Through counseling ministry I have also walked with many other people on their personal journeys of being victimized and having been in a victimizing role.  Having said this, even with my extensive knowledge of the topic, I still consider myself a learner in the midst of an inexhaustible subject.  In my estimation dealing with offense and forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood and mal-practiced of human experiences.

            How can forgiveness be so frequently talked about, read about, studied, and attempted while at the same time the actual fruit of forgiveness (joy and peace of heart) so often seems to slip out of reach?  I'll share a few thoughts here about why this is true, but my book does a more thorough job helping readers discover paths to true peace and joy in their lives.

            Racial equality advocate Nelson Mandela was a political prisoner over 2 decades in South Africa.  His heart attitude led to actions which made a huge difference not only for him but numerous people following his lead. He is quoted as saying, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”  He understood how bitter roots are formed from the seed of nursing wounds and grudges that grow in the human heart.  Left unchecked, bitterness will inevitably turn to resentment.  Mandela also says, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”  That is very true in a figurative sense, but it also holds true literally.  Research points to the connection between unforgiving emotions and the development and spread of bodily diseases like cancer. 

            Furthermore, resentment often moves down the slippery slope to create an atmosphere of revenge. Josh Billings turns this around when he says, "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."  When someone intentionally tries to cause harm but is answered with forgiveness instead of retaliation, a cycle of hurt and harm is immediately broken.  Abraham Lincoln once asked, " Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"   Oscar Wilde remarks, " Always forgive your enemies--nothing annoys them so much." 

            So you genuinely want to forgive someone for the hurt they have caused you in the past.  Maybe you've already tried to forgive but it doesn't seem to work.  Lack of results is usually not caused by failure of forgiveness, but failure to understand what forgiveness really is.  Contrary to what many believe, forgiveness is not simply a choice.  It is not simply forgetting.  Author Louis Smedes writes, "Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."  Forgiveness is not an exercise of the mind using willpower to shut off the emotions.   The lasting fruit of forgiveness requires a person's heart to be involved. 

            Forgiveness begins with love.  Love is more than having feelings toward another.  It is more than making a decision to care.  Love is an action.  True love is acting in the best interest of the other person.   "Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love," says Mahatma Gandhi.  In a book called Sonship: A Journey into Father's Heart, James Jordan writes a chapter entitled "Forgiving from the Heart."  I highly recommend his book for further reading.  Jordan explains how human beings are "wired" by their Creator for love and forgiveness.  Jordan writes, " He wants us to progress from choosing to forgive, to forgiving with love, and then to the place where we love to forgive. Moving far beyond forgiving as an act of the will, to forgiving endlessly from a heart that loves to forgive." 

            If you believe in God and you want a deeper relationship with Father, surrendering your heart to His love and forgiveness is essential.  Father God is the source of all truth. The fact of the matter is, no human being will ever fully be able to grasp how huge this topic is from God's perspective.  At some point, forgiveness comes down to trusting Father and His ways as totally right and just.  Forgiveness is surrendering to God the ultimate rights of judgment on whatever matter is in question. 

            Many believe they are justified in holding anger against someone who does them wrong.  "After all," they say, "If I forgive him, he would get off too easy," or, "He will just do it over again."  Again, this thinking stems from a misbelief about forgiveness.  Feeling anger is not wrong, but allowing anger to turn into hatred creates the bitterness that causes wrong.  Forgiveness does not mean you are giving up your right to hope for justice to be served, but it means you are giving up your right to be the "executor" of judgment.  

            I believe that a casual attitude towards unfounded anger (bitterness and resentment) is the primary root that keeps most people locked in their prison of unforgiveness.  A person holding unforgiveness in their heart generally falls into one of two categories.  The first is one who recognizes the bitterness or resentment he or she feels and knows s/he has to decide whether to take forgiving action or try to go on pretending things are okay.  The second is more difficult.  In this case, a person may have no immediate awareness of a wound or wrong done to him or her, but symptoms hint of a problem.  These symptoms may include troublesome moods like nagging frustration, irritation,  annoyance, disappointment, discouragement, or depression.  It may take the form of physical symptoms like persistent sleeplessness, loss of appetite, or body aches and pains.  This second category is quite common and not to be despised or feared.  The sooner you try to discover the root and take action towards forgiveness, the sooner new freedom can be found. 

            If you wish to change the atmosphere of your home, work place, church, and community, dare to lead in the practice of forgiveness and positive results you will see.  The ancient Proverb states,  "A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression" (Proverbs 19:11; NASB).

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging at  http://bluerockbnb.com 

 by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry