Big Debt Forgiven

            One of the most life-changing stories in the Bible is found in the 18th chapter of the Gospel according to Matthew.  May I encourage you to take a few moments to read Matthew 18:21-35 before you read the rest of this article (click here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matt+18%3A21-35&version=NIV). 

            Jesus told a story in the context of answering a question from his disciple Peter asking,  "how much debt (sin, offense, wrongdoing, fault, transgression, crime) should a person forgive?"  The story was told in a time when people were put in prison for financial debt owed.  An analogy is made between financial debt and the "debt" of peoples' offenses,  and reactions to offenses, in the broken world in which we live. 

            The story has two main characters; Big Debt and Small Debt.  Big Debt is a transgression so large it could never be repaid in a lifetime of service to pay restitution to the person offended.  Small Debt is an offense which creates problems and annoyance, but can be recovered with corrective action.  Big Debt is not humanly possible to restore.  Small Debt may go away with some human effort. 

            The story begins with Big Debt begging for mercy because of his huge debt.  The Master grants mercy and releases Big Debt from prison (forgives) everything he owed.  But somewhere along the line, Big Debt forgets just how big his debt was, and he cannot forgive Small Debt for a relatively tiny frustration to Big Debt. Small Debt wants to make amends, but Big Debt is so enraged he insists on imprisonment (lack of forgiveness) for Small Debt.  When the Master calls Big Debt to account for his inconsistency, he places him back in prison, in worse condition than he was originally.  

            The story ends by Jesus saying,  “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:323-35).  Being unwilling to forgive never has a happy ending.

            The real message Jesus intended to reveal in this story is found in the last sentence.  Forgiveness must be from the heart and not just a decision of the mind. 

I write about forgiving from the heart in another article: (see http://authoredhersh.blogspot.com/2014/01/forgiveness.html). 

But the first word ("this") in the sentence  points back to the previous sentence.  The Master handed Big Debt "over to the jailers to be tortured."  Rejecting forgiveness comes at a great price.  Let's look now at the consequences of failing to recognize our "Big Debt" condition. 

            Big Debt became so pre-occupied with the small debt that was owed him, that he was not able to remain grateful for the big debt he was forgiven.  The self-serving human condition makes us all guilty of Big Debt's trespass.  Most of us reading the Matthew 18 story identify first with  Small Debt.  Thinking of people who have offended us is easier than thinking of people we have offended.  Thinking of a person who "owes" you an apology usually comes quicker than thinking of a person you "owe" an apology.  Thinking of how other people have failed you, takes your mind off how much you have failed God and other people. 

            Each of us is the Big Debt person.  Sometimes we may be the Small Debt person as well.  Our debt to God (offense we inherited from the original sin of man) is too great to even think about paying back.  God the Father designed mankind to live a debt-free existence, but Adam and Eve's choice to rebel against God's authority created a debt (offense) for which every person in the human race became responsible.  God knew this debt is way too big  for mankind's ability to re-pay, so He made a way for a person's big debt to be forgiven.  Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).  Believing in Jesus as the only Way for our Big Debt offenses to be forgiven.  One of the ways we demonstrate how much we really believe this is by forgiving Small Debt (our offenders' debt) when they offend us. 

            After Big Debt refused to forgive Small Debt (in the story Jesus told), the Master threw Big Debt back in prison.  Refusing to honor the Gift of forgiveness Jesus gave us, by not forgiving those who trespass  against us, locks us in a condition of confinement.  Our minds and hearts condemn us to "prison."  This happens when we do things like focus on the hurts we sustain from others short-comings, hold anger, nurse grudges, harbor bitterness, entertain resentment, consider retaliation, and obsess on revenge.   Dishonoring, condemning, judgmental, and slandering behavior puts your mind deeper in prison.  The lack of peace in your heart festers and torments you into deeper and deeper bitterness, resentment, and blame.  Forgiveness is the only way out of this prison. 

            Small Debt wanted to pay back the debt he owed, but he understood there was no way he could currently pay it back.  He didn't even ask for the debt to be wiped out, but only asked for more time to pay it.  But Big Debt wrongfully judged Small Debt as unwilling or unworthy to pay back the debt owed.  When we are unwilling to forgive, we offend God by not aligning with the value He places on forgiveness.  We de-value Christ's work to accomplish the forgiveness of our personal debt (offenses both inherited and non-inherited).  This offends God, our Master, and commits us to the prison for torture. 

            Are you feeling unhappy, discontent, discouragement, or a lack of peace or joy?  This story is something you should consider.  Because offense is not something we like to think about, these debts of unforgiveness often fester for a long time.  Perhaps stress, trauma, or an unexpected event triggers a reaction that surprises you.  Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and addictions often have some sort of unresolved root of unforgiveness lingering as a source of torment.  These are often symptoms of an imprisoned mind and a tormented spirit.  Understanding and practicing forgiveness may not be the solution to all your problems, but setting your mind and spirit free could be the hurdle you need to overcome to find the real answers to problems with which you're been wrestling.

            This story is as real today as it was when it was recorded about 2,000 years ago.  It's up to you to apply it to your own life.  May I encourage you to get your debt forgiven so you can enjoy life as God meant for life to be lived;  debt-free! 

Note:   A book I authored Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses truth for dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom through forgiveness (from a Christian perspective).  See more about the book by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . 
by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Forgiveness

            Last month the world mourned the death of Nelson Mandela, a man known for his understanding and practice of forgiveness in the face of injustice.  

            In 2010 I finished a three year dissertation research project on the topic of forgiveness.  I subsequently authored a book (including much of that research) on the topic (see Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart).  In addition to these academic pursuits I have wrestled with this topic in my personal experiences both on the offending side and as one who has been offended.  Through counseling ministry I have also walked with many other people on their personal journeys of being victimized and having been in a victimizing role.  Having said this, even with my extensive knowledge of the topic, I still consider myself a learner in the midst of an inexhaustible subject.  In my estimation dealing with offense and forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood and mal-practiced of human experiences.

            How can forgiveness be so frequently talked about, read about, studied, and attempted while at the same time the actual fruit of forgiveness (joy and peace of heart) so often seems to slip out of reach?  I'll share a few thoughts here about why this is true, but my book does a more thorough job helping readers discover paths to true peace and joy in their lives.

            Racial equality advocate Nelson Mandela was a political prisoner over 2 decades in South Africa.  His heart attitude led to actions which made a huge difference not only for him but numerous people following his lead. He is quoted as saying, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”  He understood how bitter roots are formed from the seed of nursing wounds and grudges that grow in the human heart.  Left unchecked, bitterness will inevitably turn to resentment.  Mandela also says, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”  That is very true in a figurative sense, but it also holds true literally.  Research points to the connection between unforgiving emotions and the development and spread of bodily diseases like cancer. 

            Furthermore, resentment often moves down the slippery slope to create an atmosphere of revenge. Josh Billings turns this around when he says, "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."  When someone intentionally tries to cause harm but is answered with forgiveness instead of retaliation, a cycle of hurt and harm is immediately broken.  Abraham Lincoln once asked, " Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"   Oscar Wilde remarks, " Always forgive your enemies--nothing annoys them so much." 

            So you genuinely want to forgive someone for the hurt they have caused you in the past.  Maybe you've already tried to forgive but it doesn't seem to work.  Lack of results is usually not caused by failure of forgiveness, but failure to understand what forgiveness really is.  Contrary to what many believe, forgiveness is not simply a choice.  It is not simply forgetting.  Author Louis Smedes writes, "Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."  Forgiveness is not an exercise of the mind using willpower to shut off the emotions.   The lasting fruit of forgiveness requires a person's heart to be involved. 

            Forgiveness begins with love.  Love is more than having feelings toward another.  It is more than making a decision to care.  Love is an action.  True love is acting in the best interest of the other person.   "Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love," says Mahatma Gandhi.  In a book called Sonship: A Journey into Father's Heart, James Jordan writes a chapter entitled "Forgiving from the Heart."  I highly recommend his book for further reading.  Jordan explains how human beings are "wired" by their Creator for love and forgiveness.  Jordan writes, " He wants us to progress from choosing to forgive, to forgiving with love, and then to the place where we love to forgive. Moving far beyond forgiving as an act of the will, to forgiving endlessly from a heart that loves to forgive." 

            If you believe in God and you want a deeper relationship with Father, surrendering your heart to His love and forgiveness is essential.  Father God is the source of all truth. The fact of the matter is, no human being will ever fully be able to grasp how huge this topic is from God's perspective.  At some point, forgiveness comes down to trusting Father and His ways as totally right and just.  Forgiveness is surrendering to God the ultimate rights of judgment on whatever matter is in question. 

            Many believe they are justified in holding anger against someone who does them wrong.  "After all," they say, "If I forgive him, he would get off too easy," or, "He will just do it over again."  Again, this thinking stems from a misbelief about forgiveness.  Feeling anger is not wrong, but allowing anger to turn into hatred creates the bitterness that causes wrong.  Forgiveness does not mean you are giving up your right to hope for justice to be served, but it means you are giving up your right to be the "executor" of judgment.  

            I believe that a casual attitude towards unfounded anger (bitterness and resentment) is the primary root that keeps most people locked in their prison of unforgiveness.  A person holding unforgiveness in their heart generally falls into one of two categories.  The first is one who recognizes the bitterness or resentment he or she feels and knows s/he has to decide whether to take forgiving action or try to go on pretending things are okay.  The second is more difficult.  In this case, a person may have no immediate awareness of a wound or wrong done to him or her, but symptoms hint of a problem.  These symptoms may include troublesome moods like nagging frustration, irritation,  annoyance, disappointment, discouragement, or depression.  It may take the form of physical symptoms like persistent sleeplessness, loss of appetite, or body aches and pains.  This second category is quite common and not to be despised or feared.  The sooner you try to discover the root and take action towards forgiveness, the sooner new freedom can be found. 

            If you wish to change the atmosphere of your home, work place, church, and community, dare to lead in the practice of forgiveness and positive results you will see.  The ancient Proverb states,  "A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression" (Proverbs 19:11; NASB).

                Note:   The book Escaping the Pain of Offense: Empowered to Forgive from the Heart discusses themes of dealing with disappointments, offense and finding freedom in forgiveness.  This book is designed to help people (especially in the Christian faith)  to discover and dislodge things in life that lead to defeat. Don't miss out on your chance to use this book as a helpful tool in discovering Refuge in Christ. It can be purchased by clicking here: http://bluerockbnb.com/healing/book_main.htm . If you get anywhere near Pennsylvania for vacation or on business, be sure to look us up for lodging at  http://bluerockbnb.com 

 by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry