Pre-born Lives Matter

On January 23^rd New York became the most dangerous state for pre-born human beings to live.  NY lawmakers made it legal to kill children up to the moment they are born and breathing on their own.  The law also excused medical personnel from stepping in to save the life of a survivor of an abortion attempt.  

With this action, NY officially became the most barbaric of states in the US.  Killing pre-born children is savage. Taking human life in this way is evil.  But the door for accepting this kind of evil was thrown open on January 22, 1973 with the US Supreme Court Roe  vs Wade decision.  A slippery slope was begun by not clearly defining a pre-born child as human life, and tragically, the slope continues its decline.  

I became aware of the gravity of the problem sometime around 1980, and joined the battle to defend the value of human life.  In the 1980’s my wife and I spent countless hours on the sidewalks of abortion facilities talking to young ladies about their options in pregnancy.  We were instrumental in saving a number of babies lives, and saving their mothers the horrors of abortion.  We led groups that offered practical assistance to moms and dads of children that were rescued from the knives of abortionists.  We were founding members of a Board of Directors to bring a Bethany Christian Services adoption provider to our town.  Later we turned our attention to the prevention side of the pro-life efforts by founding an organization to promote the message of chastity for youth in our region.  With 3 natural born children of our own, in 1996 we adopted a 3-year-old girl from China.  Currently in our counseling ministry we help post-abortion men and women deal with the losses associated with making their bad choices.   We are pro-life, not just in theory, but in action, because truth demands action.  

           Why is truth important?  History tells us why.  About a century ago, a casual view of truth led to the careless destruction of approximately 11 million peoples’ lives (see Andy Andrews book “How Do You Kill 11 Million People”).  The Nazis were pathological liars and no one had the will to hold them accountable until it was much too late.  A pattern of lying, deception, and propaganda accompanies dictatorships throughout human history.  Our world has suffered diar consequences of foolishness and  falsehood.  Since the original sin of mankind, we are extremely prone to falsehood and vulnerable to its destructive results.  

A society is only as morally good as the people who make up the society.  A person’s thinking determines their actions.  If a person is not thinking true thoughts, their actions will yield results that are not based in truth.  For example, the truth is that a newly conceived child is a unique human being as expressed by God’s creation.  If people place value in that truth, thoughts and actions will treat the pre-born child the same as any two year old child they know. They may wonder what the child will do when they grow up, which set of parents do they look like the most, or observing what kind of personality they have.  Good-willed thoughts of the child’s future will lead to actions that support the child and help them grow into the person they are meant to be.  On the other hand, if a pre-born child is not thought of in ths same way as a two year old, their value will be diminished.  If they are thought of as unwanted, inconvenent, unsupportable, not yet human, etc., then actions taken by adults around them will be unsupportive and may not lead to the well being of the child (and the child’s family).   

The idea of “slippery slope” magnifies this truth with even greater implications.  A famous quote by Mahatma Gandi states, “The true measure in any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.”  When we tolerate the ill-treatment of pre-born children who have no voice of their own, we set ourselves up for the ill-treatment of anyone deemed unfit for some random reason.  Again, the Nazis showed this by killing persons with disabilities, Jewish people, and then anyone who disagreed with their regime.  By taking away the God-given value in what it means to be human, it becomes easier to take away God-given value in what it means to be married, be male, be female, be a person with a certain color skin, ethnic background, or cultural views.  The social ills facing our society all trace back to dispising the sanctity of human life.  

So what exactly is the truth?  The Truth is God’s reality, not mankind’s perceptions of reality.  The truth is absolute, and not defined by trends, popularity, or media propaganda.  God is the Author and Creator of life.  Human life is God’s idea.  Our respect for God is mirrored by our respect for the sacredness of life.  When we dishonor God and disregard his ways, we are at risk for the worst kinds of falsehoods and deception known to mankind.  The Book of Proberbs in the Bible (written by the most intelligent and succcessful person of his time) starts out by acknowledging that wisdom begins with a respect (“fear” as he calls it) of God.  Many of the verses in Proverbs speak of the folly of mankind trying to ignore or devalue the Creator.  God knows each person better than they know themselves.  God knows everything about the world in greater depth than the combined knowlege of all humans put together.  God’s power, authority, and majesty are limitless.  Every human life from the moment of conception is a unique stamp of God’s creative ability.  Every individual’s worth and value is equal and determined by God.  Every human life is valuable because God made it so.   

           How should we then live?  Seek God for truth.  God came into the world as a man, Jesus Christ, to demonstrate the heart of Father God, and save us from the largest slippery slope of all.  Our sin condition seeks to devalue the dignity God placed in each of us from the moment of conception.  We need Jesus to redeem us from our lost condition.  The greatest deception of all is that we don’t need God to do this for us.  We are deceived to think we can define our humanity on our own, and decide for ourselves what is best, what is good or bad, or right from wrong.  

Pre-born lives matter, All lives matter.  All of life matters. Your life matters.  How you live your life matters.  It matters how we think and act.  Living for God reveals truth.  It matters how we make decisions, choices, and form opinions, with their corresponding actions, results, and consequences.   Disrespecting God reveals falsehood  (not always immediately, but eventually for certain).  God wants to heal us in the midst of the struggles we face in this life.  All mental health problems (not directly attributed to brain malfunction) are somehow related to poor self concept (see previous articles).  Perceiving ourselves as  unworthy and lacking value keeps us fulfilling our God-given purpose for our existence.  Poor image of self leads to poor image of others, causing poor relationships, which cause a breakdown of society.  When we fail to take action to defend  the truth of the value of human life, our world literally falls apart.    

May I encourage you to take a stand for truth.  Start with what you have the most control over, that is your own transformation and sanctification journey.  Receive God’s healing for guilt or shame.   Look at some of my previous articles for help with this.  Your personal life matters, and directly affects your views of God.  In addition to guirding up your inner being, be aware of the evil influences from without.  The major news media sources have a record of being extremely biased  against God-honoring people and principles.  Do not allow your mind to be tainted  by their false narratives.  It’s not always what they say, but what they don’t say that misleads the most.  Editors often fail to report significant events because they are more concerned about selling their product (via popular opinion), that revealing truth. On the bright side, CBNNews.com is a great source for truth reporting.  Of course your time building your relationship with God is crucial.  Truth is found not merely in the words of the Bible, but getting to better know the Person of God behind the words.  Another thing you can do is make your market place purchases count. Do research on vendors, and only support those who refrain from joining the trends that dishonor God.  Find a church, get pugged in, and support leadership of like-minded people supporting all of the above.  

One last thing.  If you have been a participant in abortion in any way, it is not an unforgivable sin.  Our Father God has his arms open wide for you regardless of how you feel, or what you’ve done.  You’re not alone.  There is someone who understands.  God is there and he understands, but there are people who can help you also.  Please contact me if you need help.  

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German theologian martyred by the Nazis a few days before his concentration camp was liberated by US soldiers.  This article is inspired by his quote, “Not to speak, is to speak. Not to act, is to act.”  We must speak.  We must act, because truth demands action.  Our pro-life/ God-respecting actions over the years have been motivated by Scripture.  One most pointed Proverb says, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.  If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,”  does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?” (Proverbs 24:11-12).  What will your next action be to uphold the value of life?   

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry

Emotional Capacity - Part 2

The previous article contrasted EI with EC.  It takes much more than intelligence to deal with the realities of life.  We defined Emotional Capacity (EC) as follows, “the ability to interpret and express inner emotional messages with unshaken assurance of personal worth and identity.”  Challenging circumstances create  inner emotional messages perceived as threats (real or imagined) to a safe and secure image of self.   The capacity to regulate whether the emotions help or hurt (make things better or worse) is EC.  A person’s quality of life is determined by EC.  

When facing a challenge, EC is not dependent on whether or not the circumstances improve, but whether the reservoir of positive self-worth is improved.  A person is not always in control of external events in life, but our EC can control our response to those events.  You may ask, “I know increasing EC dramatically improves my health and relationships, but how is it possible to cleanse (or maintain a clean) emotional reservoir?  I’m glad you asked! <smile>   Hopefully something that follows is helpful.  

First, and most important in emotional health, is knowing the God who designed and authored the human being (including the emotions). If you are not a God-follower, bear with me for a moment.  I believe the basis for understanding identity and worthfulness for each person, is understanding the divinity and worthiness of the One who knows us better than we will ever know ourselves.  The attributes of God, his relatability as a personal God, and how much He loves each person, sets Him apart as supreme authority.  All humans are created in His image with a unique stamp of his likeness.  Also understanding some things about his emotional qualities can help give us a glimpse of ours.  Knowing God as Father (similar to how a child depends on an earthly father) provides identity and security (including assurance of value and worth) like nothing else can.  This inexhaustible topic is obviously too much to give adequate attention to here.  The point here is that God is the source for living from the heart and emotional capacity of the human being.  

Ironically, esteeming self above God and other people, ruins our sense of worth and value.   Removing self-focus from our identity is essential for emotional health.  Ego-centric living destroys our true  identity. For some modern day examples of how this works I recommend Ryan Holiday’s book called, Ego Is the Enemy.  We must give up our “me centered” world-view, and take on a view of the world that puts God at the center of our universe and our soul.  God is not only a great God in charge, but also a grand God in love with all he created.  As the ancient Psalmist says, “Great is the Lord, and most worthy of praise ….. the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him” (Psalm 48:1; 32:10).  

Knowing God frees a person to focus on others and not self.  Connection with others is what gives purpose and meaning to life.  A great example of this is Viktor Frankl’s life.  In his book,  Man’s Search for Meaning, he shows how he survived four concentration camps in the 1940’s at the hands of Nazi Germany horrors.  

A second way to increase our emotional capacity is to allow our hurts and wounds to heal properly.  A broken arm needs to be set in correct position,  placed in a cast, and perhaps a sling for recovery.  Similar to our bodies’ vulnerability to physical injuries, our hearts are subject to brokenness and disrepair.  From the beginning of life, we pre-judge, mis-judge, and critically judge as a default tendency.  Although our self-worth is secure in who God created us to be, our “sinful nature” severely handicaps our ability to accept this without  self-imposed conditions.  Unmet expectations create disappointments and all sorts of negative reaction (see list at end of previous article).  Hurts and wounds fester and pollute our core beliefs (even without our awareness).  Although our minds try to settle into adulthood, our hearts remain in the limited capacity of broken conditions of childhood.  Some people turn to God and receive spiritual healing. Even as a God-follower, the process of healing the soul must continue throughout our remaining days on earth.  

The greatest loss in human history was Adam and Eve’s decision to reject God’s supreme authority.  This error introduced shame into the world.  Shame is the root of all roots of brokenness and emotional pain.  Shame and vulnerability researcher Brene Brown defines shame as the fear of disconnection.  As mentioned before, self-worth is rooted in a sense of connection.  Shame (based in our hurts and wounds) keeps us from the truth and whole-hearted (capacity-filled) living.  Dr. Brene Brown has authored a number of books including one that helped me greatly called The Gifts of Imperfection.  She has found vulnerability as the only way to attempt to resolve shame.  

Shame keeps a person from believing they are worthy of love and belonging. As a God-follower, I believe I am worthy, not because of anything I have done (or not done), but because of what God has said and done for me.  As a Christian I believe Jesus is the complete connection to resolve our fears of disconnection.  You may not believe in God the same way I do, but reading on will help you grow in emotional capacity.  Or, you may already believe in Jesus,  but to grow in your relationship with God, you must embrace vulnerability and the reality of a shame-infected soul.  

  To be vulnerable is to be authentic, transparent, and completely honest with oneself.  Vulnerability is not  weakness, but builds strength and capacity.  Here are some qualities  Brene Brown  mentions. Vulnerability means you must allow yourself to be real and seen; deeply seen.  It means you must love with your whole heart, even when there is no guarantee.  It means you must practice gratitude and joy, even in the face of fear.  It means you must believe you are enough, even when you feel “not enough,” not good enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough, not capable enough, and not so on.  And vulnerability “walks into” awkwardness, uncertainty, and imperfection.  

But under the cloud of shame we resist vulnerability.  What does that look like?  We try to be perfect (perfectionism.  We expect “perfect” from others.  We try to “make certain” (control).  We blame (as a way to discharge our pain and discomfort).  We justify ourselves (and pretend that what we do does not have an impact on other people).   These are all signs of trying to numb vulnerability.  

Numbing feelings may filter the bad, but it also prevents the good feelings.  As Brene Brown says, “You can’t selectively numb emotion.”   If you try to numb disappointment, failure, and sadness you will also be numbing happiness, gratitude, and joy.  Americans are the most “numbed” society on earth as evidenced by over indulgence and addiction;   food (obesity) , alcohol, (alcoholism), drugs (medications & illegal use),  work (work-a-holism),  shopping (“retail therapy”), busyness (filling schedule with things to do), technology, and all sorts of distractions.   So we set ourselves up for dissatisfaction and emptiness (lack of emotional capacity).  

Things that may trigger numbing vulnerability look like these;  asking someone for help when you’re sick or injured, initiating sex with your spouse, being “turned down” (for promotion, election, team participant),  waiting for the doctor to call back, getting laid off a job or having to lay off people, and practicing servant leadership.   Common. ordinary experiences reveal our capacity to meet the challenges of  shame and vulnerability.    Other indicators may include things like whether or not we can easily admit offense when offended, accept differences (cultural, ethnic, or gender), own bad habits or addictions, take responsibility for actions that put others in peril, listen to others giving criticism, receive advice, and stop making excuses for too much eating, drinking, working, spending, sensualizing, sexualizing, hoarding, or technolizing (too much time on electronic devices).  

We discussed the God factor and the shame factor.  Now let’s consider a third factor for building emotional capacity.  We must take clear and consistent action in the direction of  building good patterns and habits.  It’s not enough to clean up a polluted water source and then leave it to the elements to become dirty again. It must be maintained and treated for sustainability.  Removing destructive patterns that have depleted our emotional capacity is a good start.  But, we must build constructive patterns for productivity and resilience.  This involves changing the things on which we focus our attention.  Improving proficiency in any sport involves practice and focus on the fundamentals.  Similarly, learning to play an instrument requires pattern forming drills and exercises to create habitual motion.   Great effort goes into skillful playing.  

You may have heard it said, “love is an action.”  This certainly is true.  We may think we value something, but if our actions do not move us to stronger devotion we are not demonstrating love for it. For example, you may read about shame and vulnerability and think it worthy of your consideration, but if you make no commitment to practice vulnerability, your skill of using it to increase your emotional capacity will not be developed.  A great book was authored this year by  James K.A. Smith to help establish spiritual life.  It is called, You Are What You Love: the Spiritual Power of Habit.  We live in a time when information is over-abundant, but truth is hard to find.  We do well to treasure truth, and practice it over and over again to develop skill for quality emotional response.

Great commitment is required to build and maintain emotional capacity.  It is tough work, but it is worth it.  It is worth it because each person’s worth is “built in.”  Assurance of built in worth gives a person “well power.”  Well power is better than will power.  Will power eventually runs out because of human frailty.  For the God-follower, this is where God comes in.  I believe God is willing and able to meet us in our toughest spots of vulnerability.  We are wired for struggle, and our Creator wired in each of us our personal spirit as an access point to his divine power.  Surrendering our power to his power is the deepest place of vulnerability, and provides for us the deepest, bottomless  well (capacity) as a life-giving fountain. In fact, Jesus himself said, “… whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst ...” (John 4:14).  

I believe Jesus is the ultimate solution to shame. His whole purpose for being is to restore connection to Father God.  Vulnerability is the path to finding Jesus.  I’m not talking about religion.  Religion tries to work its way out of shame.  But, a true Christ-follower yields to Jesus Christ’s identity and worthfulness as the Solution for the shame we are each born into.  Our faith is related to the capacity we have to receive the love, peace, and joy he supplies.  

If you want help sorting out things you are feeling or thinking about this, seek out a competent counselor or trusted friend.  Have a comment?  I would  love to hear from you.  I have one more article in this series of three. The next talks about EQ, emotional quotient and emotional quality.  

by Ed Hersh, Blue Rock BnB Healing Ministry